הכיוון בחיים- הרצאה באנגלית תמיר וסונים רטריט חורף 2017

good evening everybody thank you very much for coming and thank you Tom here for bringing the Become One S here and I would like him to begin with uh some introductory and then after a few words uh you'll be welcome to ask any questions you like good evening everyone my name is Tamir masas and I'm from Israel and I want to start with the appreciation for all of you for coming here to practice it's very unique and rare to meet so many people uh coming to practice and pay all their effort for this wonderful teaching uh for the last uh 20 years I practice and it's always amazed me to meet a new people sit with the new people from different countries and actually make peace without open our mouth a few words about myself that you will let me know H you will let we will make a a kind of a knowing each other as I say I'm living in Israel and I have a wonderful wife her name is theit and have three sons and for me to take this wonderful teaching that uh I was very very lucky to get it from Z Master Sunan and from Chim and many different wonderful teacher to take it to the relationship it's very very special I arrived in Korea in South Korea 98 and start my first K first three months sitting silence sitting on the cushion tried to understand myself and I was very very lucky and appreciate this opportunity because every day we had zen master sunsan come for for 20 20 minutes or half an hour give us a talk at the time I was 22 years old and I didn't know how lucky I am and I stay over there for four years as a monk every year we kept silence for three months practice and every year twice a year we were teaching around and give some lecture and I ask myself why did I come to Korea why to become a monk why to study this teaching and do this hard work one year before I went to Korea I had a I I had a event that affect my life very much when I was around 20 years old I it's not so special but I drove my car from Tel AV South to my my apartment and on the way I saw a big mark question on the wall and the question was what did you do for peace today I knew that I know how to affect people but I noticed that I fight with them I make myself right and make them wrong all the time I realize I don't make any peace I just make fighting with people I always said that some question you had to stop and try to figure out what is this question it's very strong question so I stop my car on the side and I start to ask myself what did I do for peace I realize that until I don't have peace inside myself I can't make any peace I realize that until I won't make peace with my mind my heart and my tangent make them all in peace will never I can never do anything for connect people to relax and be peaceful themselves I start to buy any CES any book anything that can make me give me some peace mind and after one year on my journey I arrived in Korea and it was 98 and then Master Sunan always talk about Direction Why do you do what you do why do you eat every day why do you sleep every day yeah everyone tired they go to sleep everyone hungry they eat but what do you do with this energy where do you put this energy how do you use this energy for helping yourself and others I guess I come from a country that have lots of problems all the time I guess you heard something about that no so it was very clear to me that in Israel this teaching it will be wonderful and very very important so the last from 2003 until noway I try to teach as much as I can and it's interesting throughout the last 20 years of practicing as much as the Direction become more clear things in my life start to change I choose my direction I choose to help people I choose to connect them to peace and a few years ago when I was again in South Korea in a I got a new Buddhist name the name I got from Zen master de Bon name Dean which mean great peace so it's interesting how things start to connect the last spring I got body set of a teacher this this is mean this Kasa it's a body sat Kasa which mean become more commit to help others so how do I take this direction to daily life so how do I take my direction to daily life in a romantic relationship with children as a father so peace have many shape many form sometimes it's look at home when I arrive at home and I see my white face not so smiley okay so it's look like doing some washing dishes wash the children arrange the house this is making peace the action is the same but the direction what is give me the power to do it the Direction that's what I want to make people more close to peace give me lots of energy to do whatever I do even coming here for practicing with you together so a person that have a clear Direction have lots of energy to do activity connect to this direction and this is really wonderful when you try or you need to make a decision in life if the decision is according to your direction no problem you just do it if the decision is not according to your Direction you don't do it and you just do it so not so much confused so Direction having a clear Direction give us lots of benefit and the last thing about direction is in our practice sometime I'm tired sometime I'm sick but if the direction clear okay tired you practice sick also practice which mean reminding your mind why did you come here what is your job now and how do you do it 100% so practicing time coming here just practice I have no wife now no children nothing only the floor that's all when I'm with my children only my children I don't think about practice which mean this direction can make lots of benefit and have lots of form and shape and it's a life question it's not something that you already understand and it's close not at all so I use the direction when I enter my house every day and I ask myself a question at the door how do I make peace today sometimes just give a smile already peace sometime only give a compliment sometime it's harder you need to clean all the house but what is the most important this piece is most important so it's a very fragile it can change very quickly only one word and it's completely damaged very difficult to clean this one word after you said it so this is why we practice very hard to keep clear moment to moment then we can really make peace together so I really hope that we use this time here together to make peace we don't need even to talk with each other actually when we talk we give our idea sometime we separate ourself so I hope we can all charge ourself here and H make all around peace thank you for listening and for your hard practice thank you very much Tamir for the wonderful introductory thank you sir as always when I listen to him the energy that we experienced in Korea all the teaching we got from sunanin that comes back live as if it was just next door we knew how lucky we were to study with zen master Sunan we knew that those years were the most formative years of course everything else is important and everyone else is important when you feel that you're young and you're being shaped into something with your own effort you're glad you're happy so let's use the same kind of energy the same kind of direction to give a formative time now to each other so if you have any questions feel free to ask how did you solve the Dilemma of uh you know monk or lay person and how did you decide uh that you would be man it was very easy for me I fall in love thank you welcome so what if somebody's afraid of Silence how do you teach meditation to that person we don't teach people that meditation equals silence because it doesn't we teach people to look inside and then see what's going on is it silence inside is it a movie Inside is it a music concert is it chaos is it an action movie what is going on in your mind that is meditation the way I see it like walking with people it's very interesting because I don't try to bring them to silence actually if they are watching what they see they see what they see and hear and smell and everything touch you know with then Here and Now slowly slowly they become silent and they digest it slowly slowly it's not just push them into a room you know silent and dark that's it you stay with it so it's kind of a progress as where I see it I would like to ask [Music] Tamir and I hope I won't hurt anybody here from Israel but I want to ask you how will you keep this direction of peace when your three children will have to go and serve in IDF and how will you teach them to keep this direction I really believe that peace start with within yourself it's not about what you're doing outside it start from the inside how much peace they have withs they know how to make you know to come down and handle the situation even now the my oldest is 10 years old actually was here in the summer and he sat with us a few hours every day until he got you know little bit crazy walk around here but if he know how to handle a situation when it's a rise in school or fighting with ch different children and he know how to make himself down you know just return to the breeding sense his body and think before he act very simple actually but very very unique in daily life you see many people just act according to what they feel and not just stop and think and then they act so I really believe that even when he grow up and go to Ary and whatever he have to do is a duty in Israel okay it's not a volunteer not yet hopefully when he so I believe that he will choose how to act in a Peace Way thank you very much so sometime you cannot change the outside condition you have to go to the Army in Israel if not you go to jail but you can choose as much as you can with a peace mind how to help the situation okay and it's very interesting I really really believe strong decision make different reality not just the way you catch the reality it's really put you in a different places when I look about my life every time I was very strong decision suddenly something happened I find myself in a different job in the army that I could support when I returned from isra to Israel after six in six here in the Far East I had to go again to the Army every year we go for 30 days between 15 to 30 days and when I ared I come through the full Casa everything I said I don't want to hold any weapon but I want to support I want to self can you find something good for me and he look at me the chief commander look at me and say I have something very special for you you have a relaxed energy I want this so he put me in a hospital that if there is a huge U like if they they find like a bomb or something like um a huge event when many people are getting hurt so I need to collect them and relax them so I found my own job and until 40 I was serving in the Army and tried to make over there piece not try to be against it I find that if I against something if I hold the peace position and they all the arm the fighting position it's still making a fighting so how can I come close to them and try to change inside so this is what I try with my children and hopefully it will be okay thank you um I have also a question if you are working in a place where it's getting like very aggressive like in the most companies these days where all let's say 10% get burned out um how to behave there because like the Buddhist say you should help but actually these people they say if you help you're just an idiot because you get more work and then you get kicked out or for for example they used to make like jokes like that the Buddhists are good workers because they behave like slaves because they want always to hell so actually on one one side I like like the Buddhist like perceptions but on the other side when I go in these kinds of let's say business groups then it's it's getting like really like you I I sometimes I feel you have to be a little bit like badass to survive there so um how how how you can put the practice into this kind of envirment how do you survive everyday life whether you are in a for-profit business or a nonprofit business because you have to make ends meat there are no 10% burnouts there's 60 70% burnouts everywhere why the minds are weak and they cannot continue their Direction too long then people change they need some external change and then they start again from square one so that means they really don't understand that M themselves too deep and they're not really committed to what they're doing so every single restart is a chance to start again and go deeper again and again and again but when we reach the same threshold of pain inside then mostly we give up and Retreat and start again this pain is the necessity to change this is the Deep core of everybody's ego which we hold very strong strong L as our deepest identity although it is not and usually you can see this in relationships especially people who divorce many times or change Partners many times what is the threshold of sorry bye I cannot do this any longer see you same thing with commitment in life so change is okay but why do you keep your direction change your direction do you become a more sincere person or do you delude yourself again and again and again so throughout my changes of which there was plenty I was fortunate to hold sunim teaching as the dearest and deepest and kept that no matter what happened to me due to my own Karma out of these last what 26 years I have very few real morals of the story very few but I have three things that I want to impart on you now first ass associate with people you trust do things you have reason to believe in and have the courage to follow these two no matter what the world says as an opinion the world has tendencies that are totally idiotic and crazy and billions of people follow that that means you lose your own eyes and ears Etc so that means you do something but you have no reason to believe in you don't have energy for that and then you burn out that's the problem same thing with people why do we give up relationships why if you lived long enough you know it's not about the Aesthetics it's not about even emotions or thoughts whatever do you deeply love and trust that person that's the question and if you don't trust that person you leave so that's why these two sentences are important and also the courage to keep that and then you have your own integrity and you're are autonomous and these Tendencies from the world cannot control you so it's like a second or third degree question why do people burn out the first degree is why did they start that activity in the first place did they really believe in it through the experience did they see it as something they have reason to believe in or they made a couple of compromises just to make money and survive and get by which everybody does but then the burnout rate goes up exponentially ask the right question you get the right answer this time your question was fine but existentially when you make these decisions that I talk about if people ask the wrong questions they get the wrong answers the way I see it to add few words for your question is about relationship how do you make relationship what energy do you bring to the relationship if somebody take advantage on me what does it mean on me how do I make clear relationships then Master Sunan always talk about correct relationship from one side he always said to us keep a good face always smile from the other side it could be very strict it could cut you right on the spot and in between the two it was making with you correct relationship so sometime need to smile and say something good sometime need to be very straight nobody can give you how to do it only our clear mind make it clear when you give a smile when you kick somebody El with a big heart when you have a clear mind ER whatever you do is the right action is it true no you can say this for yourself you have a clear mind you do the right thing and things happen around you which you never even dreamt of whether it's a good dream or a bad dream yeah clear mind how clear is it we talk about clear like space clear like a mirror how big is that mirror does it reflect on only your line of cause and effect only your speech your thought your emotion your action only yours or it reflects maybe the next person's or the groups around you or a whole countries or a whole continent so how clear is the mind and how extensive that mind space is can you reflect someone else's mind can you become one with that mind the same way as you see yourself so Clarity extends as far as your mind space goes and the quality of that Clarity equals the quality of your mirror how undistorted and undivided that is most of us have serious problems even with our own karma let alone seeing somebody else's so if your mind is clear you see your own Karma clearly GR great step one check but it's not enough have you ever crossed an intersection that your line was clear the light was green you did the right turn and just behind you two people bam they just crash and if uh you do not pay enough attention you cannot prevent these people maybe slamming into you nobody is at the wrong place at the wrong time you can safely forget that just like there are no accidents what happens is our mind wasn't clear enough and wasn't spacious enough and wasn't preventing the whole thing from happening okay so yes the answer is your own Clarity is not enough with your Clarity included there can be terrible things happening right next to you but your place in that equation in that situation is very important in 1992 and 3 we went to the United States to visit the SA there and we met of course and master Susan and he gave very important Dharma speech and it was transmission ceremony everybody was very happy and gave a talk which some students said even in the United States he didn't give too often he said this world is changing very quickly until communism existed it resembled an apple which was green on one side red on the other side by the time communism disappeared the Apple turned all red and it started to smell and that smell had very specific you know taste they called it money some parts of the Apple started to have these black spots these conflicts and wars that actually made it rot very quickly and after a while the Apple cannot stay on the tree it just falls down on the ground then it splashes and the skin cracks and the rotten flesh just goes onto the ground but then the seeds are ripe so your choice is actually what do you want to be Do You Want To Be The Superficial cracked skin of the apple with the black spots or do you want to be the rotten flesh or the ripe seeds that's our choice we have not much else everybody is on this apple because everybody's born into a human body everybody lives and dies on this planet whether we like it or or not but your choice is to be the problem or the solution or totally out of it because it's just so superficial you don't even comprehend what this life is about so that's why this Clarity is important then you can see your place in this whole shiva's Dance The Cosmic dance of impermanence so that's why Clarity is important but personal Clarity not enough one more step is necessary the question is self-image and ego are they the same or are they different the way I understand that ego is attaching to your idea and your opinion it's mean if I'm right you must be wrong if I good you have to be bad self image this one of big illusion we have and we can believe in that illusion my suggest for you put down both of them if you look into the mirror in the bathroom what do you see only that much your face good when you move out of the bathroom do you expect your face to be still in the mirror no good then you have self-image but no ego that's good your self-image every day in front of the mirror changing changing changing changing but don't confuse this face with your true face your true face has no name no form that's why you heard put it down put down both of them but self-image you can work with that ego is an attitude ego is attachment identification Etc and that's why we would expect that our face of 20 years ago would still be in the mirror and you would see that ohow how beautiful that would be have you read this book by Oscar wild The Picture of Dorian Gray that's where the problem is so clear so that's where you can see the ego problem lucid and clear in a whole book you know as the process goes you know his self-image and his ego are just drastically becoming different and when the two crashes he dies so correct feedback is is important we look into the mirror you see your own you know physical face your own thoughts your own emotions your own actions so cause and effect become clear so you see your own personality but if you make ey if you identify with it if you make this into your own ego then this attitude just completely destroys everything you lose your true self then it's like trying to burn your face into the mirror try to see that every single day without change so the absolute your true self would become this pH with these holes with these ears and this nose now that is complete ignorance so as you heard See Clearly hear clearly feel think act Etc clearly perceive cause and effect but don't make this ey am on top of this I think Orient taught us very important lessons but the West has a lot of merits too the Orient taught us that originally your self your notion of ego doesn't exist we make it we make it and our relationship to others to the community to family Etc is the most important thing but the West teaches us individuality creativity critical thinking responsibility Etc the Orient can make a mistake when individual responsibility is lost and then department stores collapse airplanes go into uh Mountain sides this all happened you know in a group- based society Korea so when the individual doesn't see his or her own responsibility for his or her own actions speech thoughts and emotions then we then we lose then then we are ignorant but equally if you say I am the absolute you know this self is the ego the Cog to ergosum type of mistake that's a big big ignorant view what's the balance between the individual and the group how do you see your freedom and take responsibility at the same time remember the Orient teaches us don't identify with the experience but use the experience correctly the West has a fixed notion of self and we have to go beyond that but the self as a notion is important otherwise how do you take responsibility how do you experience Freedom so if these views are still conflicting just go drink tea don't don't bother too much does different season like summer or W winter affect our Clarity and does different places in the world affecting our Clarity yes even the moon phase affects that there are rules oh yes there are three four days in a month when you have to be very very careful anywhere you go any season during the year you have to be very careful but depending on your physical condition you can respond very well to cold weather warm weather humid or dry and that is something we bring from our previous lives just like the body we have the body has certain conditions and uh our practice teaches us to go beyond that and override that so focus on your Tan Your tonan is the biggest balance maker energetically and mentally between you and the world if you focus on your tonan you can give off energy when necessary like in cold weather it Heats you up and in this very humid and tropical weather you can actually learn how to absorb that and how to dissipate that and your body doesn't produce so much heat then you don't suffer uh I would like to address Tamir with a question in your intro you said that uh the Direction in your life was uh very clear from your 20s which was making peace and uh what kind of advice can you give me because I don't sense any uh clear Direction in my life uh something uh brought me here for this culture uh I'm here for the whole days uh but I don't uh comprehend fully why I'm here there is something about Zan and um and the big figures of other religions like Buddha Jesus Ram Mahari I sense that but how can I turn this into uh daily life I'm an engineer I go back to work so how can I find a direction you know after 20 years I can tell you that my direction is clear it wasn't clear from the beginning but I like you I sense something my biggest tip for you for myself I always say it's to ask the question ask it directly what is my direction and asking sincerely and you will see something will come up in the beginning you become skeptical you put it the side for me it was like took maybe two or three years to digest and agree with this direction I I understood the same event that this is my direction but I couldn't agree with that I resisted I thought it's too big I remember even told myself I'm only 21 years old what do you talk about peace and when I arrive in Korea it's something very interesting because my direction pulled me to Korea to meet different people with the same direction even before I know it's the same direction so for the first two I set with this question what is my direction I already understood understood at the same time when I enter the door I bring some energy to the room I'm not talking about mystical thing you bring relax energy you bring smile you bring upset you bring confused what do you bring into the room and actually this question do for me a big transformation nowadays I'm very comfortable to arrive in a place I don't know the people and I say my name is Tamir and I'm for here for peace it's very interesting for me how they digest digest me so for me direction come with decision and the decision it's only to do it so before I start to teach I was a construction Builder when I arrived in Israel after 4 years being a monk I had to make my living so I went to work in a construction building and it's interesting in Israel the culture it's if you hear a sound of maybe people you know make a construction in the building between 2 to 4: noon time somebody will knock on your door so in the beginning when I open the door to see who is it they complain about the noise but after a few minutes of just just listening to them don't say any one world you know they just complain they start to ask you know I have a problem in my apartment and it was very interesting because every building every apartment we walk was like you know that building in different apartment was an old person or somebody that doesn't know how to fix something and they always ask from us and I have the knowledge to fix things so I find myself any construction any project help you know one old person another old women somebody not to do how to do something try to help them try to fix something most of the time without taking any money for it so my direction is clear to help so many ships many way it's the situation appear and something come up from your tangent from your intuition the second short thing to give you it's to be with a question when I arrive in the South Korea I understand only one way of using a question which mean I have a question I need to give an answer and Zen and the wonderful teacher taught me to stay with the question and I can really tell you the the answer is your life so the question guide us if you let it guide you first don't know then something happen try it thank you kind of keeps me busy that uh heart suure says no eyes no e no nose no tongue no body no mind but I'm the kitchen you know preparing breakfast so there is taste and smell and sight and whatnot so how far does this no eyes no is type of thing go and when does it really appear that this is this taste and that taste and that sight and that smell Etc come back to this point this point is no eyes no ears no nose no tongue no body no mind Etc then your mind becomes clear like space clear like a mirror then you can see clearly hear clearly taste smell touch Etc clearly but if you don't come back to this point then your previous Karma covers your mirror very thick and your mirror is not clear also if you attach to this point then you lose your eyes ears nose tongue but m i means attach to emptiness that's the other problem don't think how far does this go and when the world comes in this is wrong thinking these are not conversely opposite because you come back to this Clarity in a bad word we call it emptiness it's one of the biggest mistakes but let's say emptiness or Clarity or completeness because of that the sky is blue and the trees are green without that not possible so originally this point has no name no form anything I say is a lie but the closest to the original the smallest lie is we say don't know then use this don't know then become clear then next to truth there is function that's the third step so this point substance perceive clearly like you know in a mirror truth the third one function these three are United at this moment at this moment these three are not separate when we talk about Zen and Method and practice and structure we can spell them out but originally these three are never separate wonderful teach and he say cut ey my me which mean if you cut ey my me there is only color only smell only test I will tell you a story when I was a henja you're soon going to become a nun so long time hja you will have to be I did the henja training one year in and we were um six of us um three Western to uh one from South Africa and one from Canada and one Korean person we did six all of us henja training every day cleaning washing making Chessa bring the food for the funeral ceremony stepping the cloths do lots of jobs after six months the Korean went to henja training like three weeks how they call it h training H training yeah and as a new monk when we were henja together very close friend but now he's a monk and he's like our chief now so he want to teach us to be humble so he took all of us to the phone gate and stood us over there face each other and said everything that pass you should bow to him so you can imagine you know five people are standing in the front gate and every person come and go we need to Bow lots of anger up but in Korean Temple monks say hen do there is no nothing to say you just have to do it Hungarian Temple same [Laughter] okay after a few moments everybody face was really red you know a man pass we bow a woman pass we bow a woman with a taxi we bow this well then the dog come he smell lunch time soon and automatic all of us so we all laugh and then all the anger disappear then I realize that if you don't add I my me there no problem I can be without idea just do it so just see just hear just smell just say just act yeah that's all uh I have a six yearold grandchild who's been really uh complaining ever since um he or she turned age four if you talk about any disasters negativity catastrophe in the family when the person when the child is present first she was just giving off sounds and then making faces now she can actually articulate what she wants to say you are not supposed to talk about these issues like that please do not say these things what should we do with this and how should we kind of insightfully handle this when she talk like that okay she said like that you shouldn't talk like that what's the problem so usually we take her word and we stop talking about these issues that she doesn't like you know disasters catastrophes negative things Etc that's what they do can we can we teach her something explain to her something or we just have to take this from her as she's teaching us okay actually both of it it's wonderful I really believe like give tools for children one of the tools you can use her body in our body there is sensation and if they know to find the sensation she feel uncomfortable MH she will have a way how to handle and to deal with her what happened in her body when she l into this WS with my children when we talk things like that and they feel uncomfortable or different things we can talk about their school and they don't like it you know okay so my children already know to look for what happened uncomfortable in their body maybe they choke or squeeze or their stomach their Bell is like move and I teach them the first very very basic thing just to breath into it then they have a tool how to handle their life this is that what I try with my children uh you know there's a lot of uh things we don't understand about children so if you don't understand why she's responding observe her sometimes the biggest mystery is the person who was born to you and it takes many years to actually see that Karma why that person was born to you mhm so observe the child in that situation and really see clearly what's going on most of the time children at this point at this age they do not understand the intellectual structure of what you're saying but they perfectly perceive the emotions MH so try to talk about these issues if you really have to in her company with a light heart and a kind of neutral overtone although the intellectual content can be very serious or challenging so how many times have we practiced in our drama class good morning how are you today good morning how are you today good morning how are you today so you can say this in a thousand ways how do you color the content with your emotions this emotional content creates the space the energy which the children they just feel a th% they're so sensitive in fact they are the kind kind of canary in the nuclear power plant when a mother and father they have a problem they immediately start to cry or misbehave or something because they represent that disharmony that energy which persists at that time that space most of the time at this age intellectually they wouldn't understand what's going on it would give them even harder time get a good book of tales nice tales and read that and then they go into Wonderland their mind that's why we love you know sto stories fantasies Tales movies whatever we want to go to Wonderland so you give that to the kid they forget all about it my question is about practice um about how much effort we should do the practice and at the end it's tell us the the text or the books are saying we should do it without effort well effortless and then there's this term like self Liber rating uh maybe you can tell something about that in the beginning you you bring lots of effort even too much effort I'm not talking about like the all day practice when I said too much effort I mean you try to achieve something to get something outside the practice you need to run yourself to that you need to push yourself then then you get tired you see days and you do lots of bowing lots of chanting lots of sitting and you don't get anything then slowly slowly more relax more come down less effort less try to achieve something just sit for seat just walk for walk just bow to Bow don't get anything don't try to achieve anything so we we say it's very high class to come to the point of just sit all of us all of us when we sit we don't just just sit we think sometime even we think about keeping don't no mind keeping this clear mind wonderful teaching we should keep it but at the time we don't keep clear mind we think about clear mind it's completely different so I really believe a practitioner need to go from one side to the other side until you find the middle until then you will never know what is your middle way and as as much you will try to figure it out with your thinking you waste your time so when I entered the temple at the monastery at South Korea I was 22 years old lots of energy every day try 1,000 BS as the master say so he said I Tred shy after 2 months I couldn't walk I was walking and my knees was making different sound completely then slowly slowly I understand what is my correct effort and I have to be honest with you I'm still make it fine-tuning all the time try to correct it all the time thank you I want to ask you about anger I have wow not mine but how to deal with anger people I have around me few very important people that I really appreciate and I want to make peace and they're angry very angry and I cannot I tried from this door and from this door compassion and and hearing and sorry and nothing helps they keep the anger and they're really close um physically even living the same door the same building first of all do not identify with their anger that's really important don't let that suck you in first of all develop the center that doesn't move no matter what kind of attitude you experience sometimes we experience this really angry destructive people and we go like this or we go like this either Yin or Yang but they moved your Center you lose so if you have this not moving mind you can reflect this anger if you don't identify the person with his or her karma then you have a chance to find the frequency quy like a gateway to the person's mind which is not based on this anger it goes like this I know you are not this anger I know this is just your karma I'm talking now to your Buddha nature not to Your Ego not to your anger not to your attachment and this kind of attitude is like using a different radio frequency from the usual and don't talk to them right away because talking is actually a big deal in this case it opens up Pandora's Box and then all kinds of crap appears so just pass them on the corridor and have this frequency and this mind- to- mind connection I know this anger is not you I'm talking to your Buddha nature right now and next when you have to interact with them don't touch this Karma don't want to make them better don't want to make them peaceful it's enough that you are unmoving perceptive and you establish correct relationship these are the three steps that I have just listed next step is together action bypass the verbal part so don't want to have result out of talking because all this Karma appears as I've said so have some surface for together action and that together action will fix it if they are not willing to do together action then keep a distance taught us very few sentences on methodology how how we teach or how we use Zen but he said something really important it's four sentences one if you practice and you you are with non-practitioners you may teach them the Dharma if they are open if they're not open enough then you can give them what they need really material sometimes you serve them like Tamir fixes the neighbor things you know that was giving them what they need it was wonderful that's a you don't check the mind of your neighbor but but your neighbor has a problem with the pipe or the stove or the electricity okay how can I help you then you fix it this kind of stuff or they're going shopping you're going shopping okay can I bring you something this kind of stuff very spontaneous very clear giving them what they need third if these two don't work give them good words so then then correct speech maybe they don't want to connect to you at this Action level like this kind of give them what they need type of level but you can still talk nicely to them the fourth is just do together action that happens in the Army sometimes you really don't like and don't trust your fellow soldiers just don't like them I went through the army you know same way as he did and uh through together action you can take away most of this like and dislike mine but choose very carefully develop your qualities first and when that's stable you can do these things when your Dharma is weaker than somebody else's Karma you feel that the world is upside down and there's something really wrong with the way things work there's nothing wrong you're just weak that's it so get stronger clearer find the right method then you can do it and sometimes you have to accept that you're not nearly as strong as you have to be then keep a distance okay when you do that you become wiser and clearer and then eventually you will be strong enough to engage but don't engage on the losing end when you know that you're fighting a losing battle don't okay she said that she's in Crossroad now she on a crossroad in her life and she can choose ER maybe to go to the East and one of the things is to getting inside the monastery and practice and she's wonder if it's uh come from helping all beings or escaping from something when you get to the East you'll figure it [Laughter] out if you don't make that step you'll never know so leave home go to the destination where you want to go no expectations and then you have insight into yourself what is it that made that trip because it will be not the same as the one that comes back that's our treasure during this life of hardships and joy and sorrow and all these opposites that we went go through on this Earth in this very frail impermanent body we can figure out why we are here and why we are doing what we're doing and do the best that we can so so thank you very much for everybody for making this trip here short distance long distance doesn't matter but we are all here and we share the darma tonight I want to thank tomier for his wonderful speech and answers and let's make the best of our time together in the next week and the following months and years thank you