15 Av -- The Day of the Breaking of the Ax

the yeshiva.net [Music] today's class is dedicated by noi machininov in loving memory of her grandfather her so her grandmother her safta gizla gita basrib nassen who just passed away on the 26th of tamas 5'7 82 dedicated by her loving and beloved granddaughter tahinish and may she remain an eternal source of light and blessing and inspiration to you and to your family and to the entire community and all of the jewish people so we are now in a very interesting week the days between tisha b'av and khamisha asaba of the ninth of and the fifteenth above of course this year the ninth above was on shabbos so the fast was postponed to sunday so sunday was yudav so today is your base of and then tomorrow wednesday is youth gimmel thursday and friday is hamisha saba of shabba is the 15th day of now we would think that the two days are not really connected but we see that the way our sages define the ninth of on the 15th day of is apparently that they have a very intimate connection and what we want to explore today is this connection and the uniqueness of this day of the 15th day of of which has a paradox on one level it's extolled as maybe the greatest day of the year and yet practically it doesn't seem to have any rituals or unique things that we do what we don't do on that day so let's begin in your source sheet you'll see the force the first source is the last mishna in massachusetts time is the track date that's dedicated to fast days it's called tinus which means a fast and the last mission is on page 626 reads as follows above on the ninth of of five calamities happened number one nigerian of essentially consular that's the day that there was an edict given to our forefathers that they should not go into eretz israel the spies came back on the ninth above and that's when the edict was that that generation would remain in the desert for 40 years anyone anyone who was between the ages of 20 and 60 would live for 40 years in the desert and they would pass away in the desert their children would go and that happened until shabbat the second thing is burushina the first basamiktas was destroyed the second thing is bashlia the second base amiktus was destroyed the first one was destroyed in 586 bce the second one in 70 after the common era the first by the babylonians the second by the romans both imagine jews understood this wasn't a coincidence that it was exactly the same date on the calendar hundreds of years apart hundreds of years apart but exactly the same day that both bhattemikters went up in flames the fourth thing that happened on tisha was nilka de the city of bethar was conquered and what this refers to is after the second base amitrix was destroyed in the year 70 approximately 60 years later barkova staged a major revolt against the rome his name was shimon ben kuzeva they called them which means the star the jewish star darak of miyakov and the revolt was unbelievably successful it was so successful that i believe two complete legions of the roman army were defeated but started to rebuild the third base amiktas he minted his own coins he emancipated jerusalem for a while rabbi akiva even felt that he was meshiach this is it 60 years after the destruction remember 70 years after the first destruction the jews came back so he thought 60 years after the second destruction that said the ghoul is here bethar was the last fortress where he and his army and the jews were gathered and on tish above batar was conquered by the romans barkaisville was killed the survivors were killed rabakiva was also killed and this also happened on tish above this happened around the year 135 after the common era around 65 years after the destruction of the second base amiktas that happened on tisha but the last thing is the necro shahadir adrian the caesar of rome decided to plow jerusalem in other words not just expel the jews from jerusalem but basically make it a place that would never be recognized as a place where anybody lived he flattened the mountain that's why when you look at the harabayas the temple mount doesn't look like a mountain it was lowered i think close to a thousand feet imagine he lowered the mountain close to a thousand feet you know how that's a thousand feet approximately flattened it that's why it just looks like a platform today you know where the mosque is built where the chryslers but the whole city was plowed it was plowed so it's basically it's like farmland it's a place where where foxes could begin to roam that's how much he wanted to uproot any vestige of jewish life there that also happened on tish above so we have five things our par our forefathers experience the decree that they will not go on territory sir allah this is of course in the early times of jewish history shortly after the exodus of egypt first by summation is destroyed the second base of magnitude is destroyed that's number two number three beta is conquered number four and number five the city is plowed the mishna continues you would think that it's completely disconnected but the mission has come together in fact in our argument it's even one mishnah america shortly after the destruction and he was in fact one of the 10 martyrs one of the ten sages asari malchus that rome executed leo says there were no holidays there were no days as beautiful as joyous for the jewish people like the 15th of of and yom kippur so if shema gamlil is saying the jewish calendar has a lot of great days but none of them come close to these two days the 15th of of and yom kippur what happened is for on these days the daughters of jerusalem would go out in white clothes each of them borrowed her garment from another one not to humiliate somebody who didn't have somebody who may have been poor in fact as the gemara says even the basmelech the princes the daughter of the jewish king would borrow her garment from the daughter of the kangado the daughter of the kangada would borrow her garment from the daughter of the assistant to the kind goddel everybody would borrow from somebody else even the most noble and aristocratic and people who thankfully had a lot of money but that nobody should feel left out um the daughters of yours go out and dance in the vineyards on these two days and as the mishna continues the bakram would come out and many shidduchim many matches were created on that moment i'm just going to add in parentheses it's not the theme of our class but this is a very interesting idea that on yom kippur right and on tuba of the girls would go out to the vineyards of jerusalem and obviously people who didn't have a shidduch and boys would come out and a lot of shidduchim were created and the misha describes the conversations they had and the gemara describes it do with different types of young women and different types of men and many matches were made and one of the greatest shining he wrote a safer called the colby he asks a question he says is this really the best way to do it and his answer is unbelievable his answer is he says this was not the regular girls and boys these were the girls who were older and the boys who were older and they didn't have shidduchim and they didn't have shidduchim the mothers weren't getting telephone calls every night you know there's nine people who want to date your daughter or want to date your son so he says this was the way in order so imagine that they dedicated yom kippur and hamisha sabaav for these older women and these older men they should be able to have shidduchim that's his explanation the kawai's explanation which means that a person should appreciate when you think of a shidduch or you help make a match between somebody who's older never underestimate the power and the significance and the the the kindness and the value of that that the holiest day in the jewish calendar yom kippur focused on this theme you were thinking kipper confess your sins dive and stay in show but a major you know this didn't take five minutes this is a major part of him kit but just to highlight how significant and amazing this work is so just it's a very powerful motivation for anybody who ever has an idea and sometimes you keep it to yourself you know maybe you'll mention it to your husband by dinner maybe but you have an idea pursue it try to execute it maybe even bring them to the vineyards so that's what shimmer bengale said so the gemara a few pages later the next source tainas deflamet this is the end of track daytimeness page 30. is the day that the second tablets were given it's the day of atonement the day of forgiveness it's the day of reconciliation amazing but what happened on the 15th day of how did the 15th day of similar to become kippur the greatest yomtif so there's not one answer there's six answers for this of course the jewish way of answering a question don't give me one give me six let me tell you what happened on the 15th of it's the day on which the members of different tribes were permitted to enter one another's tribe through marriage if you look at the english translation they'll actually write the day that intermarriage was permitted but what they mean by intermarriage was shave it with shavit tribe with tribe what does this mean this goes back to a story that happened in the desert in parshas pinchas and parches massey the daughters of slav came to moshe their father passed away he did not leave any sons in the traditional laws of inheritance the sons receive the inheritance from tati the daughters of course will be supported by the estate of the father even before the boys can take anything and then when she gets married hopefully by the husband by her husband till she gets married if there's any money or property left they can live in the house and they get it but they don't have to deal with any estates slovkhat says there's a problem it's daughters we have no brothers so what's going to happen this inheritance is going to be lost to our family so that's when hashem told me phrase if there's no sons the daughters should get the inheritance if there's no children then you go up a generation the father if there's no father the uncles etc and then you find the closest relative what happens afterwards is the five daughters of staffhud were not married but the five of them would soon get married they were from the tribe of menasha they came to myshraban when they said we have an issue they're going to marry maybe somebody from ruvain or shimon or yehuda or out you can marry anybody you want they might marry any man know what's going to happen their children it's daughter's children the tribe always follows the lineage of the father right if i'm from rauven shimon whether you're jewish or not that's defined by the mother but if you're a cayenne a levy a israel that's defined by my father my father is a cayenne he comes from shaved levy so then that's where i go soft slovkod now it's lovehead's daughters are married let's say to somebody from the tribe of rauvein or shima you know yehuda and those children are going to inherit from their mummies there are five mommies the field so this these properties are going to go over to another tribe inherits israel because their sons come from a different tribe and that means the tribe of menasha is not going to have its estate in eretz israel because this whole trunk is going to go over to another tribe so they were told that they could marry whoever they want but it should be from the tribe of menasha it should be the tribe of anasha so wow this became a new law they should they could marry whoever they want latoya being empty and elena of course they can choose but from their tribe so that way their children are going to be from the same tribe like mommy and papi and it's going to remain in their shave it's very interesting mitzvah the question was was this an eternal mitzvah so now generations later if a person doesn't have sons and he inherits the his estates to his daughter his daughter has to marry somebody from the same tribe so hazal learned how that that mitzvah was only for that generation it was for the generation of zlatan's daughters the next generation that already went in territory straw they didn't have this mitzvah they learned to doubt so this was on hamish asap of that was the day that they gave this verdict based on their understanding of the torah that everybody could marry everybody no matter the circumstances all the shivatim lovers all the women all the men from all the tribes can inter marry into marry again means they can get married to each other that happened yehuda says that's the reason for the celebration says no there's another reason another reason the tribe of binyamin was permitted to re-enter the community if you remember from the book of shaiftim there was the horrible infamous story of pelegis begiva the concubine of geva in which members of the tribe of binyamin behaved in a very ruthless and sadistic way towards an innocent woman in terms of violating this person and they would not expose the criminals and there was a war a civil war between the jewish people and the tribe of benjamin which cost many lives and they made a ban on shaved binance we are not marrying into the tribe of benjamin on tuba of they removed they moved they said this can't be generational that generation okay but afterwards shaved benjamin was brought back in and they became part of claustro that happened this occurred during the time of asyl this was the time of the time of the judges before there were kings so he was the judges neil ben knaz and he led the people during the years 2-5 3-3 from creation until 2-5-7-3 from creation and shavit benjamin was allowed back next reason said in the name of chicago what happened on the 15th of was it's the day when the deaths of the jewish people in the desert seized what does this mean hashem made a decree that the whole generation in the desert between 20 and 60 would pass away when did that happen we learned a moment ago on tisha buff so every year on tisha above the 60 year olds basically would pass away that year the 40th year on tish above nobody passed away the decree was over they thought maybe they made a mistake on the 15th of they saw the moon as full and they realized tisha b'av passed and nobody passed away they realized the decree is over everybody now is going to go into the land of israel that happened [Music] another fascinating story heishaia the son of elah removed the centuries removed the blockades the roadblocks to jerusalem another piece of history when she malek died he was succeeded by his son imposed heavier taxes and there was a split a new king arose by the name of yeruvam benevot your of them came from the tribe of ephraim yosef rehab was from amalek the tribe of yehuda there was a split and the jewish people split into two separate peoples there was what's called the northern kingdom and the southern kingdom malchus israel which was led by iran benevole who had 10 tribes under him and the king of yahudah the son of shlaimah the grandson of david who was the southern king he was centered in jerusalem in the city of david irdavid and he had two tribes under him yuhudan binyam and the besamiktas yurov and benevad didn't want the jews to go and make their yearly pilgrimage to jerusalem because they would become acquainted with the other king so he created roadblocks and guards and centuries and security he didn't let anybody go to yerushalayim raven benavot instead he created golden calves in dan and bethel in the northern kingdom of eretz israel resurrected idolatry in israel and did not let anybody get there hoshaya ben elah was the last of the southern kings and in fact the tanakh says he was an idol worshiper he was a russia wasn't as bad as some of his ancestors but he was not considered a righteous person at all hashem he was the last one in his time that syrian king came and exiled the ten tribes of israel and the northern kingdom was obliterated by the assyrian empire the southern kingdom remained intact for another hundred and fifty years till babylonia came and conquered yerushalayim destroyed the basamides and exiled them as well shaya was the last of the southern kings i'm sorry northern kings and he removed the roadblocks when on hamisha he said you can go wherever you want you want to go to your shall i'm going you want to go worship the golden calf and don worship the golden god you want to go to bethel worship their worship there he created this form of democracy you want to go worship in jerusalem this happened remember we mentioned that beta was defeated on tish above hundreds of thousands were killed the romans did not let the corpses be buried they remain exposed for 14 years and they don't decompose on hamisha 14 years later approximately the year 148 after the common era he allows them all to be buried adrian's successor allows them to be buried and they're all buried they even made a special bracha that day mate of the fourth blessing of benching that was created on the day of hamishas above when they allowed them to be buried the jews were very encouraged by the fact that even though it was a terrible massacre none of the bodies decomposed you talk about many years 14 years and the bodies were allowed to be buried that was like a wink of the ribonus shall islam i'm still with you it was a very special moment it was like in the in the depth of darkness it was a glimmer of hope that happened at hamish above so we have five reasons why there is no greater than reason number one intermarriage is allowed that won't come out good uh if they do a clip it's not going to be good so let's do this again you know how clips work right you take out what you want and uh rabbi why were you encouraging into marriage inter-tribal marriage let's put it that way okay no i looked up the art school gamora to see the english and i saw the day that intermarriage was permitted between but you'd have to read between the tribes so that happened to hamas above the second thing is the tribe of binyamin was allowed to enter the rest of the community and marry with everybody else the third reason we said is the day that the people who were dying in the desert stopped dying on the 40th year that was the third reason the fourth reason we said is hasheah ben allah removed the roadblocks heading to jerusalem and the fifth reason is the day that the victims of beta the jew slain slain and bethar were buried now obviously these are all important events significant events but do you hear in any of these events a reason to say that this is the greatest day in the jewish calendar it's greater than pesach when we came out of mitzrayim it's greater than shivers when we receive the torah it's greater literally that it's like kim kippur the holiest day of the year these are all nice events significant events important events certainly events that have been helpful for the jewish people they removed roadblocks they removed blockages they removed the decrees they allowed the the victims to be buried all significant things says that's why israel the greatest holiday greater than the day we became a people the greater than the day we were liberated from israeli it's hard to understand and e and if that's if that's the case why is it that today on the 15th day of there's no major celebration if it's like the greatest day of the year yom kippur we observe very intently very intensely above we don't say that's it today you don't say we don't confess our sins what happened to this great great yomtif now let's come to the sixth reason what's the sixth and last reason rabbi verbiosev the amritravayu and by the way this is the only reason that has two people backing it all the other reasons were said by one here you have two people rabbi and ebios have both said you know what happened on the fifteenth day of yom shaposko is eight similar it's the day in which they stopped chopping down trees for the arrangement of the wood to be burnt on the altar in the basement meaning from the 15th day of and on the strength of the sun wanes villain so from that date they could not cut additional wood for the arrangement of the wood on the altar because the wood would not properly dry and therefore would be unfit to use meaning remember the mesbaik the altar in the base amiktosh had a fire that was constant that fire was fueled from firewood that wood had to be arranged when there was a cut off date that was hamish as above on the fifteenth day of overnight israel the heat the intensity of the heat of the sun begins to weaken it begins when when the wood is not dry enough when there's moist worms get into it when worms get into it you can't use it in the basamiktas so what was the cut-off time pun intended for cutting wood in the forest to use for the basamignas was the last day it started in nissan when when when spring descends upon israel and they cut it off usually august time kamisha us above this was the last day the next day you can't cut wood anymore you have to wait till nissan to cut wood again why because the the sun is weaker and therefore the wood will not dry sufficiently and it could be wormy and that you're not going to use that for the mizbeactor explanation why is this the greatest jumptiff because they stopped cutting the wood menace said let me tell you something more the karuli yoim tawarmagal they gave this day a name the 15th day of a name the day of the breaking of the axe yoim the day tower tower is breaking in aramaic muggle is an axe or a sickle usually an axe the day of the breaking of the axe because why do you use the axe to cut the wood to fell the wood but now you can't cut wood anymore it's done finished cut off time so what happened so it's the day when they broke the rash bomb says the day they broke the axis they broke yoim tava maghrib and the gomorrah says adds a new thing mikanva ellic the mice of joseph from this point on the days begin to shorten and the nights become longer the nights were created to learn the days were created to work so he says from this day on whoever adds in their third study they will add to their life okay so now it's interesting the first five reasons at least i can hear something positive that happened the sixth reason what's the umptif okay it was cut off time you can't cut wood because you're not going to have the sun hot enough to dry it so why is this such a holiday not only a holiday it's the greatest holiday of the year it's like why because they stopped cutting the wood why'd they stop cutting the wood because actually summer is coming to an end is that such good news [Laughter] kids are coming home from camp coming home from the country back on your heads rosh hashanah is coming sukkas is coming remember all the meals especially this year right after shabbos isn't that exciting they stopped cutting the wood okay it's an interesting day but this makes it the greatest yum tiff all of the five reasons need explanations but this one it's like what's the celebration it's like you say this is the deadline you can't do it afterwards okay so why is it such a yum tif very hard to understand and not only that as i said this is the last reason and this reason has three people behind it versus the other reasons which each have one and it seems like therefore that this is the primary reason for the celebration of and it's so hard to understand what's even more interesting is that death menacius says they gave the name a day the day of the breaking of the acts what does that mean so some commentators say it just means they let go of the acts but actually it says the day that they broke the axe the bomb writes and baba basra followed he says they broke that the axes were broken which is strange why break them put them away for next year use them for other things even if you don't want to use them for other things maybe because they used it for the wood for the base of meters maybe they didn't want to use it for other things store them away generally breaking something that's useful is prohibited you're not going to destroy something this is an axe it's a good axe why you're breaking it says why why are you breaking back and that becomes the name of the day the day when we break the axes rabbenu gersh from one of the great talmudic commentators says that the celebration was because they stopped cutting wood so now they had more time to learn torah so they went back to learning the rash bomb says that's not the reason the reason is because there was a mitzvah to cut wood they needed wood they finished doing the mitzvah you finish a mitzvah you celebrate he says it was a mitzvah doyle of cutting the wood you celebrate when you finish doing the mitzvah why doesn't he agree with rabino garisham the reason they celebrate it is because now they can go back to learning because according to that the main idea of the celebration is completely ignored he says the reason that we're celebrating because the day they stopped cutting wood according to engagement that's not even the issue the issue is because now that they're not cutting the word they can go back to learning so why don't you say explicitly what the reason is besides the fact it's hard to understand that they make such a yum and the biggest yum tip among the jewish people because they stopped doing something that was actually very precious and important for the base amigas so that's why dirac bomb says the reason is because they finished doing a mitzvah now granted but let's think about this cutting wood is actually not a mitzvah it's called the haksha mitzvah the mitzvah was to put wood on the altar to have a fire in order to have wood you have to cut wood even when we finish an actual mitzvah we don't have such a big celebration people finish learning a massage they make a seal so they make a celebration but you don't say it's the biggest jump tip in the whole year here they weren't even doing technically a mitzvah they were doing something that's a preparation for a mitzvah it's called a haksha mitzvah and yet on this we say it's an awesome mitzvah when they finish it it's israel and it gets a special name the day of the breaking of the acts how are we supposed to understand all of this all the six reasons and especially especially the last one the truth is that if we go one step deeper we'll see how each of these reasons is extremely significant and fine-tuned to explain hamish asabav remember the mishna started off with the five calamities of tisha buff right after that he says there was no greater holiday most people would say he was just trying to end on a positive note but really the two are very deeply connected it's not just he was trying to end off on a positive note but there's a very deep relationship between tish above and khamish asabav the way the jewish calendar works everybody knows is our calendar is arranged around the moon to lunar calendar all of our holidays our months the beginning of the month is based on the new moon and basically the fact that our calendar is a lunar calendar is not just a coincidence it's because jewish history is jewish history follows the lunar phases desire explains that the jewish people mark time with the moon because we are the moon of the world we rise and fall through the nights of history we know times of growth and also times of the munition of of of restrictions there are moments of great luminescence alternating alternating with moments of obscurity and darkness and like the moon every downfall is a prelude to a rebirth unlike the sun the moon is experiences from our perception so many vicissitudes it's born it's small but the sliver grows and grows until you have the full moon on the fifteenth night of the month tesla desire says kaima sierra bash la musa that's when the moon is complete and then it begins to wane and then when it's actually closest to the sun it disappears from our eyes it's gone you don't see it anymore but only to be reborn a day or two later when we create the new month and it continues to grow the jewish people represent the moon of history through the long nights of history the moon is sometimes small the moon waxes the moon wanes and then sometimes you look at the moon and you say there's nothing left there's nothing there you would think the moon has disappeared from the face of the horizon for eternity only to be surprised by its rebirth and then it's continuous growth that's the story of the moon and it's the story of the jewish people we say in kiddish and that's why you'll see some of the great jewish holidays are on the 15th day of the month pesach we come out of our exile the moon is complete the 15th of the month sukkah 15th of the month is the sixth of the month but schwarz is actually a continuation of pesach because it's the 50th day after pesach even in later generations purim is the 14th and shushan purim in shushan the 15th day of the month because it represents the rebirth and the wholesomeness that emerges after the decline after the obscurity after the darkness now when you ask a question which month was the moon darkest which month was the obscurity of the moon the most telling in terms of the story of the jewish people and hands down we know it's the beginning of the month of when the moon is closest to the sun that's when you don't see it because basically the moon is facing the sun and the earth is parallel to the moon which is parallel to the sun so we don't see any of them and then when the moon starts moving away from the sun we start getting a little glimmer of it of which begins the nine days the darkest period of jewish history represents the complete obscurity and darkness even deeper than any other month because of the events that happen on that month and here is the rule the rule is in life that the greater an objects plunge down a mountainside the greater the momentum that carries it up on the next mountain the further an arrow is pulled back on the bow the greater the force that will carry it forward when it's allowed to fly this basic law of physical nature is a result of the same law in the spiritual nature it's also true in the lunar calendar it's also true in the spiritual qualities of the jewish people the lower the descent the loftier the ascent to follow the mystics call this yerida if the descent is for the sake of an ascent the lower the descent the higher the ascent it's like that momentum of that object plunged down the mountain being pulled up the next mountain we know emotionally and psychologically when a person is often experiencing a very difficult and challenging moment where sometimes i look down and i could see the abyss open before me it's those moments of vulnerability when we often reach our deepest clarity our deepest spiritual wisdom when my ego is shattered and my mind opens up i can experience infinity in a way that i couldn't experience it before so from the moon's perspective every year that every descent is an opportunity it's an invitation that the light that comes after the darkness the rebirth is of a completely different nature because when my comfort zones are completely shattered what now happens is i find deeper resources inside of me that i never had access to i find a wisdom that i never had access to it's like a home as long as the walls are standing there's no real expansion i demolish the walls and it's really a destruction but it's always the beginning of renovation of expansion sometimes what i'm familiar with gets demolished my expectations my paradigms my perceptions what my life is supposed to look like what my children are supposed to look like what my marriage is supposed to look like you know we all come into life with dreams and expectations and we create puzzles and we create plans and we create to-do lists you know the to-do lists and i'm just talking about to-do lists you have to go to the cleaners i have to pick up uh i have to pick up this i have to pick up that i'm talking the existential to-do lists you know this is what my life is going to look like but very often unfortunately those dreams don't materialize at least not in the same way and when i'm facing those difficult vulnerable moments and i look at my moon and it disappeared it's eclipsed it's eclipsed by maybe depression it's eclipsed by a moo disorder it's eclipsed by pain internal or external it's eclipsed by circumstances so the secret of jewish history is this moon did not disappear this moon is actually now closest to the sun and there's going to be rebirth and the rebirth that comes after the deepest forms of vulnerability is the most powerful rebirth because it's the rebirth that comes from my deepest most intimate resources and place the rebirth that comes from no vestige of ego it's the rebirth that comes when i completely let go let go and i become a conduit for a different nature of light for infinity if the greatest descent was on in of so when is the moon brightest spiritually speaking on the 15th day of the greatest ureta creates the greatest deepest aliyah so now when shimon ben gamlil who suffered the wrath of rome after the mishnah says let me tell you what happened on tish above now he says like the 15th day of the core of what he's saying is that the 15th of of is the day that redefines tisha buff it's the moon that is reborn and finds wholeness after the obscurity and the darkness of the eclipsing of the moon 15 days earlier at the end of thomas the beginning of the middle of the three weeks the beginning of the nine days because there's no power there's no celebration like the celebration that comes from transforming my pain my negative energy when i can take the darkness and transform it into life the momentum of that is unprecedented if you sometimes meet people and you could see sometimes you meet a person and you could feel there's a halo of light around them you could feel a sense of just inspiration in their presence a maturity a depth uh no vanity no superficiality no schtick no flattery no idiosyncrasies no you know schtick as they say you sometimes you feel you're in the presence of of of somebody who their attitude to life is just coming from a very very deep and authentic place and we all know if you ask the person for their story there's something they had to work through something they had to transform because when i could go to those places that i'm weak and take those weakest moments and transform them into springboards for growth there is no growth like that because the light that comes from the metamorphosis is the deepest light it has an intensity to it it has an infinity to it that is unlike anything else it's not something i ask for it's not something you try to go into but as life hurls its curveballs on our psyches and i catch that curveball and even if it's painful because it's a hard ball it's not a softball you know the difference sometimes there's soft balls okay you miss it sometimes a hard ball but when i catch that and i embrace it and i grow with it the profound light of this person is is just incredible it's it's it's real there's nothing as powerful as it as that type of light that type of presence so hamisha us above what he's saying is really that transformation of the ninth above and that puts it in a different category even beyond pesach and sukkah with their greatness because it's the transformation it's the full moon that came after such a dark moon it's a different level of light i just have to share an experience that happened this tish above i was invited on sunday to address an event in a new show here on martha the balsham shul the shul was built as a replica from the balsham to show and measure bush in ukraine but he told me that he got stones from 22 shules in poland that were destroyed by the nazis and for 75 years they are just piles of debris 22 shules in poland decimated by the nazis and they remain they just remain harvest 22 of these shules he transported rocks and put them in to one of the walls of the shul you could see these irregular rocks there a few weeks ago they were excavating warsaw they were extigrating a street in warsaw and they came across a fascinating archaeological discovery as you know the warsaw ghetto uprising happened in april 43 the first night of pesach jews went from the seder into the uprising it lasted a few weeks they put up a heavy fight the germans burnt down the whole ghetto all the five hundred thousand jews of the war sagetto were either killed there transported to treble and cut transported to other death camps very few survivors but what they did was they brought in jews prisoners to clean up the ghetto and to completely flatten it to leave no vestige of anything else you go today to warsaw and you look for the war saguetto there's nothing they could just show you where it was it was completely completely gone mila 18 was the famous bunker from where mordechai the nevis murder khalid staged the uprising they excavated and they found his bunker they found finland over there they found safari over there just a few weeks ago i saw it in the newspapers so seven rocks from that bunker in the worst ghetto were brought here and he had five holocaust survivors on tish above putting in the rocks from warsa ghetto bunker into the shoal two of these survivors were in the warsagena they were sent there to clean up one of them worked with the cloisonne baghireba to literally slave labor clean up the ghetto so they were both in the war sagetto and they put the rocks into the show and there was a diary that was discovered from somebody who survived the worst segato i knew him his name was dr hilo zeidman he wrote a diary in january 43 and he wrote there that if i'm lucky and i get out of this hell i would love to take a few stones from here and put them by the kaiser maravi so that jews when they come to the castle they could weep for what was lost in poland so as i was watching these holocaust survivors put in the put in the stones and then one of them is a cayenne he was born a mooncut he gave birth i thought to myself that you know there's no such a thing as how people say there's such a thing called holocaust stories there's no holocaust stories there were no stories in the holocaust there was pain that was unimaginable a million and a half kids gas is not a story the starving children in the ghetto is not a story we turn it into documentaries and films and stories because we want to talk about it but there was no stories it was just endless unfathomable pain and yet i'm looking 80 years later you had there a jew 101 years old another jew 99 years old another drew 94 years old and they're standing in a shull called the balshempt of shul and putting in a stone that's now going to a show where jews dive in and learn every day you saw that power of transformation and i'm not saying transformation in the sense that it explains or justifies or rationalizes but transformation in the sense that eight decades later these very stones that if i was a fly on the wall in warsaw and i watched it i would be certain that the jewish story is coming to an end and yet eight decades later these very stones are now part of the foundation of a place where jews celebrate life three times a day chakras etc now when you go through the six reasons for the celebration of the fifteenth day of of you'll see that each reason is exactly defining the meaning of transformation these are not just random reasons that were chosen out of a box oh this happened that happened that up each reason redefines and create some type of healing and rectification for the five calamities that happen on tish above and if you go you'll go through the reasons we'll see it we said on tish above beta was defeated beta was it was the end and yet you saw that even though the tragedy didn't come to an end but they were given the dignity of burial it means this wasn't just a random event with no historical significance god has abandoned the jewish people it meant there was meaning there was still love this was a divine wink i'm still with you it says when joseph was taken to egypt he was sold as a slave so the terrorist says in vayishev that the caravan with the ishmaelim had all types of wonderful fragrant spices so rashi says why it's a long journey to egypt you shouldn't have to sit in a coach in a wagon with the horrible smells so i want to ask you a question if hashem is so concerned about yosef's smell why don't you just send them home instead of putting him into a spice store with send me home to my father right the answer of course is it was a wink joseph was on a journey a difficulty but it was a wink i didn't forget you you're not abandoned you're not just infinitesimal chopped liver you're not a worthless random mutation living on the surface of infinity amounting to nothing your life is orchestrated you weren't just sold you were sent for yourself this was a wink a wink in the pain the jewish people when they saw that the bodies did not decompose and they were given burial 14 years later they were allowed to bury them it meant a lot it meant that this was not the end of history this was a phase a painful phase of history the moon did not disappear the moon is going to be reborn so that element of tish above had some form of closure and the beginning of a transformation the beginning of redefining a dark event into an event that's part of a journey of life because jews never recognize that darkness is the end of it all the moon disappears it's dark but stay present and the moon will make a comeback it will be reborn and that becomes our shredish that's the new month roy schreider from the word nunes and we all go through those phases and you may know rich is a holiday that was given to the jewish women it says in madrid and the kabbalists say that the way hashem created the feminine versus the masculine is that the feminine reality reflects in its own organism the phases of the moon two weeks and two weeks etc because this is an internal process that every person goes through but the feminine soul is sensitive to that energy in a very profound way that's why we're which is the birth of the new moon the birth after obscurity is the female holiday we now come to the second reason what was the second reason we spoke about the fact that it was the day that the people in the mid bar received the decree that they're not going to go interested israel and hamish above they saw the decree ended in other words the journey in the wilderness wasn't the end of history it was a phase of history it was a journey it prepared their children to go into the land that was a very powerful moment of healing we speak about the fact that the shvatim could get married to each other that's also a part of coming in territory's role because till that point i didn't have full ownership over my part in the land of eritrea because if i was a daughter of if i was the daughter of slavk when you own a piece of property you can give it to whoever you want when you don't own it you can't give it to whoever you want the fact that there was this limitation i cannot share my property with another tribe meant it's not fully mine this day the entry interactive stroll the ownership of jews over it's always on a different level i can share it with another tribe and not only that till that point every tribe could only have access to its own plot than eric israel now all of the tribes can have access to all of erit israel because through this marriage things can be shared so the whole claudius role has a connection to the whole heritage israel so again this is another phase in coming in territory the rectification of what happened on tisha above where they were told they cannot go and turn to israel so we discussed beta as a rectification we discussed the schwa marrying each other as a rectification we discussed the decree of the people dying in the desert as a rectification but what's the main thing that happened on tish above both bhatte miktas were destroyed that means the service in the basement stopped but then there's also the reason it stopped the gomorrah says everybody knows in yuma the main reason for the destruction of the second base amitar was internal discord contention animosity and hatred since when jews don't get along with each other it wreaks havoc it creates havoc for us and for the world we say vehicle villanu not one enemy tried to destroy us in each generation you have the islamic jihadists and the hamas next and the ahmadinejads and nasrallahs and rawanis but this facebook the really one thing that threatens us is we it's hard for us to be one. not being echoed it creates a breach in the fortress when there is that power of unity is incredible and it's hard you see it's hard for jews to really not agree you don't have to agree with each other god forbid but there's a difference you know a couple can disagree there's nothing wrong in fact if you're a jewish couple you should probably disagree at least once a year okay twice a year what undermines marriages is not people disagreeing what undermines marriages there's no trust the disagreement is seen as negative when um people can trust each other rely on each other know i have your back a thousand percent you have my back a thousand percent disagreements actually are good to broaden horizons explain it to your husband you don't have to do it in my name don't destroy the jewish people what destroys us is when the disagreements turn into animosity i can't look at you i can't love you i can't connect to you i can't be here for you you can't be here for me when we stop talking to each other when there's a sense of no trust that was the cause of the corbin so the rectification of hamish above happens on both levels the beginning of a rebuilding and unity so now you see the other reasons shaved binyamin was excommunicated from the jewish people there was a real rift in claudius above unity came back that's the beginning of the healing of tish above that's the transformation that comes after the darkness because we all know the greatest unity is the unity that comes after a rupture when a couple uh hassan and khalid get engaged and they don't disagree with each other doesn't mean there's going to be govaldika shalom bias talk to me after the first fight if we know how to experience reconciliation after rupture we're good to go the challenge of marriages is we agree great but then there's rupture and what happens then if you can't bring the pieces together after rupture the marriage is very weak it's skin deep rupture allows us to create reconciliation that's mature that's authentic it's worked out it's not unity based on the fact that i always see things your way it's unity based on the fact that even if i see things differently we can talk about it we can respect each other makes sense ladies what i'm saying you see my wife trained me well laurie did my wife train me well you can ask here you somebody once told me rabbi huawei and they say there's a light at the end of the tunnel the problem is i don't have a tunnel i said it on youtube yeah yeah somebody sent me a horrible joke he said why are people in new york so uptight he said you would also be if the light at the end of your tunnel was new jersey but we have some people from new jersey i love new jersey i love new jersey yeah it's it's i i'm not going to give you an intellectual answer because i don't have an intellectual answer i can give you an emotional answer you know what i mean right don't underestimate women been a yeser and it nabisha we have rosh haidish every month because sometimes when we're climbing mount everest the roads become very winding and the mountain becomes very very steep you have a climatsada mountain sometimes the mountains are very steep you know if i'm going to stretch if you stretch and exercise if i'm going to really stretch it's going to hurt because i'm stretching whenever our minds and souls are being stretched there's pain but the you got the answer wow yeah i just would rephrase i wouldn't say better do that's a little too it sounds too vindictive for me it's not better dude it's really being present to the opportunity and to the energy and and learning from it and it doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to stretch it hurts it hurts stretching hurts but but when i'm stretching i don't want to get angry cynical depressed run away from my personal trainer i will i will get angry i will get cynical i will run away we do those things and you have to respect that too you can't judge anything pain is pain right good so so now we come to the other reasons bin yum and there's a rift when benjamin comes back it's not just a nice event it's the transformation of the scene of the animosity that created tish above that's the power of the holiday it's the reconciliation after such rupture the same is true when the shavatim could marry each other there's a new level of unity they don't have to stay only to their tr in their tribe their comfort zone their mashbach there's an extended unit there's a there's a deeper unity i shaya ben ayla removes the roadblocks what happens all the tribes could now unite in yerushalayim again the unity is created and they can go to the bay samignus so you have here you see the transformation of tish above and which unity remember the greatest rift was between joseph and his brothers in the kingdoms it came between yurovum and rehab yeruvam came from ephraim yosef rahavam came from the rift of the brothers was re-enacted in the two kingdoms the southern kingdom and the northern kingdom your of them created roadblocks haishaya banela said we're one people joseph and yehuda come back together the spies are the ones who caused the jews not to go and terror to straw but there were two spies who tried to reverse the process yahushua and caulifla yeshua came from which tribe ephraim yosef khalif came from the tribe of yehuda yeshua and color were the two spies who understood the power of unity hashem removes the roadblocks binyamin came from which woman beyond came from rahul joseph is from rocco yehuda is from leia rachel and leia created that split so when binyamin comes back to the jewish people it's not just binyamin it represents rachel and joseph represents those two streams uniting now we can appreciate the last reason the day when they stopped cutting wood for the bay samikadesh and here it comes full circle why because the basamiktas as the rambam says was built the a home to be able to come closer carbon is the word kirov to bring offerings and come closer to hashem so the wood was one of the main features of the mizbeh because that is what allowed all the carbonus which had to be burnt on the altar without wood you're not having any fire so when they're cutting the wood and they're finishing to cut the word they're finishing that mitzvah they're actually allowing for the miz bayak to burn in the bay samitas and fulfill its ultimate purpose so tish above which is the destruction of the bay samiktash is now reversed in hamishas above when they finished cutting the wood during the time of the bay samik to allow for the bay samitas to flourish but it's much more than that there's a mitzvah called sadaka but when i give charity i'm giving to one person i'm giving to one organization but if i went to cut wood in the forest who was the sadaka for which jew would benefit from the carbonus and the answer is every single jew because every day there were carbonaries brought for the whole community carbonus and every individual brought carbonus throughout the year so when i cut wood it wasn't sadaka for one person or one home or one family or one tribe it was literally for every single jew would benefit from this wood it's a different level of tadaka and not only that when i cut this wood kamishasa of i knew there's no replacement it's not like i give you something and i go get a new one in the store here i can get new wood tomorrow till nissan you're not getting a replacement for this wood so i'm really giving something away that i can't just replace so this and why am i doing it it's not only for my offerings i'm doing it for your offerings so this represented finishing a mitzvah mitzvah loves ultimate unity of the jewish people and the ultimate feature that allows the base amicus to function so here you have the greatest transformation of tish above when the bay samitas was destroyed because of the hatred and the cutting of the wood represents the exact antithesis of it the pussac says that on the stones of the altar you weren't allowed to use iron like sun if allay embarzel you weren't allowed to use iron to adjust to uh what's the word hone to uh hone the stones of the mesbayyach you weren't allowed to use bars of iron they had to use avonnam schlemmers complete racks for the mazbayak why so the mishna says and rashi quotes in israel because barroso iron was the primary instrument of your to destroy people's lives whether swords or spears or arrows or knives or daggers barsel iron was the primary instrument that ancient man discovered to cut down people's lives like the whole purpose of the mizbeh was what to increase life to increase peace to increase harmony so you don't use iron on the stones of the mesbah so now we can understand the significance hamish the ultimate rectification of tish above they used axes to cut wood and now they can't cut wood anymore so what's left with the axe now it's iron an x is made of iron with a wooden handle but it's iron so now it's not anymore to cut the wood to build the base up to build the to have a base of migration now the iron is just iron so they broke it wasn't about ashkas it was the ultimate idea that we're breaking the last vestiges of animosity of discord of contention of hatred as long as we're using the axis to cut wood beautiful now we can't cut a wood anymore so the mitzvah of cutting the wood which is the greatest seducer for claudius representing the unity and it's giving something you're not going to be able to replace and it's for every jew sinners and not sinners because everybody had to have carbonus and this mitzvah which is there to allow for the basal mixtures to function representing the functioning of the base amicus antithesis of tisha buff it's more than that it's now we break we break the bars or we break the buyers of the iron representing the shortening of life in an ultimate celebration of the unity which is the transformation of tish above so this final sixth reason represents the ultimate healing of not just a nice day like israel like the metamorphosis of that great darkness into a new era of wholeness of love of unity of harmony and what did they do on that day how do you celebrate that they went out to create shidduchim because where do you have the greatest experiment of harmony in nature everybody knows where do you have the greatest fights and where do you have the greatest experiment of unity everybody knows there's one institution it's called marriage that's where humanity learns to get along if i can't get along with my own spouse with my own family i'm not going to get along with the world only in theory if i can get along with my own people i'm not gonna it's very easy to be nice to strangers you know what they say right peace begins in the family in the meshbuja as they say in yiddish it's also hard nobody gets on your nerves like family present company excluded you don't know anybody like family it's a different level but the reward is to learn when he created the world that is where we learn how to build a unified world that's where children learn how to work out differences they watch mommy and they watch tati they learn conversation they learn communication everything there is to learn about trust about vulnerability about love and about disagreements you learn in the crucible that we call home i think there's a book called the family crucible right an interesting an interesting theory over there and the gemara says that the girls that went out came from all different backgrounds and all different persuasion you had the daughter of the king you had the daughter of the kind god and you had a person who couldn't afford couldn't afford an outfit and they all borrowed from each other in other words there was a urgent representation of unity of oneness and each one appealed in a different way the gemara goes through what each one said and yet they were in a macho they were in a dance a dance as always people together in a circle there's no beginning there's no middle and there's no end the zarya says that they were wearing silk clothes you would think okay zozy silk it's something special because the vilnigan says the reason we don't mix wool and linen shatness is because the first war of brothers cayenne brought his carbon from piston from flax from linen heavel brought sheep which is the source of wool and those brothers couldn't bring it out together so wool and linens represents that war at this moment they were wearing silk they were wearing meshi and they borrowed it from each other that was the rectification and that's why and here we come full circle and again pun intended how does the gemara end the whole suggest it seems like completely disconnected but now we will see that it's exactly connected and this is the last piece i want to do here at the end of the sources the last thing is oh it could be fell out of your sources i'll read it to you the gemara finishes messages hashem in the future is going to arrange a dance a makhan a dance for righteous people and he's going to sit amongst them in ghanaid and everyone is going to point with their finger shanammar the passage says the one we waited for here is hashem ki vinola it seems like just a very nice connection talking about the girls dancing so we're talking about god dancing and grenade but the truth is but kevin says something very powerful here he says think for a moment about a circle a mukhal is a circle if you make a perfect circle and it says hashem is sitting in the middle what's the distance between the center of the circle and every part of the circle exactly the same unless you don't know what you're doing you didn't use a compass when i make a circle it's not going to look that way but if it's theoretically not if it's a perfect circle equidistant there's no part of the part of the person at that edge oh you're further away you're closer so he says something very powerful every person has their own schlitz their own mission everything has his own path every soul has its own path but it's so easy to get into a judgmental and condemnation mode in the future hashem is going to make amakha it's going to be a perfect circle and he's going to be in the middle and everybody is going to point and say he nailed the kanuzah this is hashem what's that no i have god you don't have god you don't have god but the distance from the center of the circle to every part of the circle is identical but one second you're opposing me i'm on this side you're on this side could you come to this side you don't have to come to this side to be any closer to the center of the circle it's all one maha the word makhan means a dance it also comes from the word mekhila forgiveness which is the concept of yim kippur the second day because the maha the dance is what allows that appreciation of each other which is what creates real forgiveness which is the idea of yom kippur the second day of the shidduchim there can be real unity if there's no forgiveness of course i could say something that hurts your feelings that's what happens in a marriage unless everybody is mute for 90 years which among jews it's not going to work i mean we can try but there is reconciliation there's a muckle there's a dance there's an idea of respecting your space and knowing hashtag is in the center your center but also my center and we could both point that's the idea of the mukhol who you shaved him he sits among them in the middle reblay blager is 441. why a dance whenever you're dancing in a circle there's no leader and follower who's the leader and follower in a circle there's no other person in the beginning the person in the middle the person you're at the end you're a recipient i'm the mentor i'm the giver it's all one circle what's the greatest yamtiv by jews israel the rambam says at the end of his malachim the definition of the times of mashiach the end of hate the end of negative negative competitiveness and the end of envy of jealousy when there's no color war anymore i don't mean camp colorado that's very important but i'm talking about emotional and psychological color war in our homes families communities so the after of says there's no holiday by jews like the 15th of what's of olive base what's the 15th of olive base the 15th letter of the olive base come with me aleph base gimmel dallad hey vav zayn with what does a samak look like a circle it's the only letter any way you turn it it's going to be the same any other letter out of base gimbal you turn it on the other side no no you just ruined the ladder you have to be on top i have to be on bottom that's how we can be a letter sama you could turn me around a thousand times and it's exactly the same why because there's no higher and lower it's a perfect circle it's a dance there's no yum base like the 15th letter hamish asar of of of the alphabet which is the letter sama there's no holiday like that because that's the holiday that represents the ultimate aliyah the ultimate rectification and healing of tisha buff this also explains why now we don't see a big celebration which is above because essentially of is the light of the gula and since it's the light of the gula it's the greatest yamtif reptilia kind of leblanc says mashiach was born on tish above it says in urushalami he says ayamtif a good yamta for seven days right you have and i just roll the seven days sukkos besides many times for seven days so he says mashiach comes in seven days coming above is the seventh day of the celebration so what happens here is the ultimate commission is the light of the guru so that's why we don't have rituals around it so much because essentially it's a very very deep holiday but it's not fully manifested yet in the world and yet it's already considered a holiday we don't say because there is already the foretaste of goula and the ability of every jew to live in a guru consciousness that's kamishas above and what happens when mashiach comes yoshaya navi the navi of gula what does he prophesize if you don't remember it from ishaiah chapter 2 you should remember it from when you toured manhattan and you saw the walls of the united nation you remember what's engraved on the wall of the u.n if they would only live up to it they have a prophecy from yeshaya on the wall of the u.n ushaya says they will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into prune hooks a nation won't lift a sword to another nation they won't know war anymore that's officially the mission statement of united nations the problem is that at this point the only thing they're united about is condemning israel that's the only thing that unites the united nations but when the u.n will live up to its mandate what is that breaking of the acts is that the day that the axes will be broken he says they will beat their swords into plow shears in other words use the money going into weapons to feed people to nourish people which is which is lethal that's the ultimate breaking of the ox of humanity i'm just going to finish with this little story that i recently heard from rabbi lao harava garner bistro may laoshley to the former chief rabbi of israel shared a story you know a few years ago with corona the concept of zoom whoever bought stocks and zoom before corona was smart before quran not many people so you got to hear a lot of people they usually don't hear because zoom became a new phenomenon and we said gam zumlatova so usually a mitzvah class in israel foreign israel wouldn't have the opportunity of rabbi lao addressing them but once corona happened everybody was stuck in the house zoom you had everybody addressing everybody so in middle of corona he addressed a class of a mitzvah class in israel and he shared a story rabbi lao was a is a survivor his father was murdered in treblinka his mother was murdered siblings were murdered he and a brother survived his brother smuggled him into buchenwald in a sack and he came out of the sack and he survived he was the youngest to one of the youngest children survivors of the death camps and he came to israel he had nobody he had an uncle in kyas muchkin an uncle so his uncle raised him but of course he was an orphan his father was gone his mother was gone he had an older brother naftali he later became counsel general of israel in new york naftali lavin of talilao and he survived as well he passed away a few years ago he saved his younger brother so rabbi lao said it came to his bar mitzvah i think he said his mitzvah was portion with slach summer time the end of after she was the beginning of the summer and of course a good bar mitzvah boy he prepared his parsha and rabbi lao has a presence even when he was 13 he had a presence so he prepared the parsha and because he was an orphan everybody felt obligated to come for shabbos to the mitzvah any friend any foreign relative anybody who knew anybody you know certain bar mitzvahs you're not going to miss there's no father there's no mother the whole family was destroyed like so many survivors so the shul was packed the shul was packed that shabbos morning for the bar mitzvah celebration of israel mayor lao who they called uh lulac lulac lulac it was lulik and tulik so he was lulik and uh after the khazar sashats he goes up to the bhima they bring out the safe attorney goes up you know this little cute bamitzvah kid the first time with your talos and his hat or whatever he wore then the shoe was packed it was never back and he's going up in the shul he said there was a man named moisha moishe was an old man maisha was an old man and he was the bulkier of the show he read the terror every single week and he had not much in life but he loved reading the torah and he loved the validation that he got as rabbi law says i'm 13 i go up to the bhima and i see moisha coming up to read the gabba goes over to my says says you didn't tell this to me a whole week i prepared the parsha you didn't tell me i forgot to tell him in the beginning of the week that this was about mitzvah boy he said a whole week i prepared the parasha the kaaba says okay but he's a bar mitzvah boy get off the bimmer he says moshe says i never have such a crowd like this finally i have a crowd like this you're gonna take away the passion for me the guy wants to punch him in the nose the guy because the crowd is not here for you they're here for him he's an orphan he's a holocaust survivor he has no parents this is his weak rabbi law says i'm watching this i'm 13 years old and the man is is is is virtually sobbing and he's like i do this for years nobody pays me i do it valentine finally i have one week with so much honor and respect and you're going to steal it from me a whole week i prepared the parachute this is unjust it's not fear the gabi was about to lift him up and throw him out of the troll he couldn't believe that this is the conflict he's going to create with this yasim israel may allah rabbi lau tells the boys he said but i saw the pain on this man's eyes i went over and i said you know i'm not sure i know the parsha so well it would be an honor if you read the passion okay i'll get an aliyah you read the parsha i told the gabbai i'm fine this is for me i want him to read the parsha and i looked at moishe and agabe and said you know i'll probably get some other opportunities to speak in public moishe said a lottery 370 million dollars wouldn't give kiyosa maison what he had he went up he had the whole shoe as he read his parsha rabbi lau turned to the mitzvah boys he said i want to tell you when you become a mitch you become obligated and mitzvahs and the question is what's the first mitzvah you do he says this was the first mitzvah i did as a mitzvah this was the first mitzvah i gave up my spot and he says and you know i had a few opportunities to speak in public as well he said because from creating unity you don't lose that was a moment of glory i would speak before the whole school and he says today i have the privilege to speak to every community and that's but i've spoken to every community in the world this was his lesson to this bar mitzvah class have a wonderful and beautiful and inspiring week thank you oh you're asking a good question you're saying how is it that so many leaders in the jewish people can't get along with each other their own brothers yeah and their own brothers they can't talk to yeah it's very disturbing let me tell you something you know i have learned in life that i can either be part of the problem or be part of the solution i could either be a victim or i could be a leader sometimes leaders themselves have a lot of trauma sometimes leaders themselves have insecurity sometimes leaders themselves get the wrong advice sometimes leaders themselves i think they're doing the right thing and they don't realize they're doing the wrong thing and we sometimes have to realize that leaders they're great people but listen everybody has blind spots we all have saharas and sometimes i could make the wrong decisions and it's very unfortunate so we have a choice i can be a follower and say you know this is how it is or i could be a leader and help people expand their horizons and see that what's necessary is a paradigm shift and i think that's our job and it's disappointing it's painful you're right not every leader is always the role model we would hope they should be you know what i mean just like our mothers and fathers sometimes they're unbelievable role models sometimes they disappoint us our grandparents our teachers some of them are unbelievable people all of them do great things but some of them make bad mistakes you know sometimes they have blind spots sometimes they get the wrong advice sometimes they're fed wrong information sometimes in their own mind they think they're doing the right thing and they don't realize the consequences you get it but since women are wise so the women can create a different consciousness and influence their men like oin ben pelos's wife sure hatslach thank you for coming this class is brought to you by the yeshiva.net please help us continue the classes make even 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