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לעלות בלי לאבד את הלב | שיעור לימים נוראים | אגדתא - מה | הרב בן ציון אלגאזי
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השיעור עוסק בסכנה שיכולה להופיע דווקא מתוך עלייה רוחנית: כאשר אדם מתקדם, מצליח ומתעלה, הוא עלול לאבד בלי לשים לב את הענווה, הרגישות והקשב למי שנמצא סביבו. דרך סיפורו של רב רחומי, מצוות מעקה, חטאו של דוד המלך ודברי חז״ל על יום הכיפורים, מתברר שאין עבודת ה׳ שלמה בלי תיקון היחסים שבין אדם לחברו. ההכנה האמיתית לימים הנוראים היא לדעת לעלות — בלי לאבד את הלב, ומתוך ענווה, רגישות וכבוד לזולת. לתרומות לישיבה לחצו https://www.yrg.org.il/?CategoryID=220 לקבלת תורת הישיבה בוואצאפ - https://bit.ly/whatsaap-rg למעקב אחרי הפייסבוק שלנו - https://www.facebook.com/YeshivatRama...
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Transcript
Auto-generated transcript. Not time-synced to the video.
Well, today we will deal with a
wonderful legend that offers much
contemplation for us as we approach the
High Holy Days, may they come to us for
the good. There is a story in the
Gemara, Tractate Ketubot, page 62b. The
Gemara there speaks about the
relationship between a man and his wife
. A man must behave properly at home.
The fundamental principle the Gemara
states there is that a man should love
his wife as himself. And honor her more
than himself. There is a special matter
regarding a man conducting himself with
respect toward his wife. The Gemara
tells a story. He said, "He left his
wife and went." This is the statement
of Rabbi Eliezer. The Sages say:
Students who leave to study Torah for
two or three years without permission.
Rava said: The Sages learned a lesson
from their own experiences. Students
would go to study in the Beit Midrash
for two or three years, each according
to his capacity, the Gemara relates.
The Gemara says that Rav Rechumi was
frequently at the house of Rava in
Mechoza; Rav Rechumi would study under
Rava in Mechoza. He was married, so he
left his wife to go study, as was the
custom, but he would return to his home
every year on the eve of Yom Kippur.
Not after two weeks, not after three
weeks, but even once a year, the
scholar would come home. Well, the
Gemara relates: One day he was delayed,
one day a rumor kept him, there were
some intense Talmudic debates and he
was delayed, but she was waiting for
him, waiting and he did not come. Every
moment she said: Here, now he is
arriving, now he is arriving. A whole
year she expects him to return from the
Beit Midrash; every moment she says:
Now he is returning, and he did not
come. Her spirit grew weak, she felt
discouraged, and a single tear fell
from her eye. She expects him so much,
longing for a whole year, imagine what
that is, and out of deep sorrow—
whether intended or not—a tear fell
from her eye. As she sat there, Rechumi
was sitting on a roof, the roof
collapsed under him, and his soul
departed; a brick or something broke
there, I don't know, he fell, heaven
forbid, and died. That is the story.
Now you ask me: Is the situation better
, or worse? Certainly worse! He used to
return after Yom Kippur, at least. The
Gemara says: A tear fell from her, he
was on the roof, the roof gave way, he
fell and died. And all the references
here, there is the Shitah Mekubetzet,
if you had the page you would see it,
and it says here: What, what, what
happened here? What is the point of him
falling from the roof because of one
tear of his wife? So he writes here
that it is proper, the Shitah
Mekubetzet writes, not to cause his
wife grief, one must ensure she is not
overly distressed, so he is not
punished on her account like what
happened to Rechumi and so on. The
Yaakov writes: It is not a matter of
intent or lack of intent, that is just
how it is; if a man harms his fellow,
the result will be like that. He writes
: It says that she shed one tear, but
how many tears did she shed when he
left his wife completely? He says, he
says: So what, what have we gained?
What have we gained? How many tears she
shed now, only for her to be completely
devastated in the end. But causing harm
between a person and their neighbor is
like a devouring fire. You hurt someone
, you get hurt. Whether I meant to or
didn't mean to. Whether it will be
worse, it doesn't matter. Anyone who
reaches out is burned by the fire, not
as a punishment, but as a law of nature
. That is how it is, a law of nature.
You hurt someone, you get hurt. And I
would like, with your permission, not
to take this part of the punishment and
the harsh consequences that occurred
here. I want to take it a bit into our
own context here, in our service of God
, leading up to the High Holy Days that
are coming upon us and all of Israel
for the good. What is the idea here?
What does it have to do with Yom Kippur
? Why specifically sit on a roof, one
tear from here, a fall from here—what
? What do the Sages say? In the Sages,
in the Aggadah, in any case, here we
are...we are learning. Everything,
everything in the study is precise.
There is nothing that the Sages would
show just like that. The fact that he
sat on the roof and what—was it for
Yom Kippur, so he was returning home
and it happened? Everything here is
completely accurate. The Torah tells us
, in the portion of Ki Teitzei that we
read this week: "When you build...when
you build a new house, you shall make a
railing for your roof, so that you do
not bring bloodguilt upon your house if
anyone should fall from it." Simply put
, all the early commentators here say
that the plain meaning is that if a
person has a dangerous situation inside
their home—they must prevent danger,
any danger, wherever it may be. From
here stems the whole idea of building a
railing and removing every obstacle.
The Rambam says, in one's home it
doesn't have to be specifically a roof;
a railing, any obstacle that a person
has in their home—pits, ditches, and
caves inside a person's courtyard, such
and other hazards—they must remove
them so that you do not bring
bloodguilt upon your house. So if the
Rambam writes that for any obstacle you
are forbidden to keep it in your
dwelling—be careful, oh, thank you
very much, more power to you! One can
differentiate. That so. So,
conceptually. In the Sifrei it is
written, you have the page before you,
in source five: "And you shall make a
railing for your roof"—this only
tells me about a roof, from where do we
include pits, ditches, caves, and
crevices? The Talmud says: (We learn) "
In your house"—if so, why is it said
"roof"? Excluding a ramp, "house"—to
include the Temple hall, "roof"—
excluding the porch. "New"—the Sages
say, from the time it is made new, make
a railing for it. How much of a railing
? A railing of ten handbreadths,
sufficient to prevent falling. So the
Sifrei interprets: one must make a roof
, excluding a ramp, house, including
the Temple hall. Even in the Temple
hall, a person must make it in the
Temple, one must also seemingly make a
railing, if it is to remove any
obstacle like pits, ditches, and caves
as the Sifrei says. So why does the
Torah tell us "and you shall make a
railing for your roof"? And you shall
make a railing for your obstacles: in
any place where you have an obstacle
because of you, be careful that no one
should fall from it, do not bring
bloodguilt upon your house. What does
the matter of the roof specifically
have to do with this? In order to
explain the plain meaning here and how
it relates to our service of God on the
High Holy Days, there is a very
interesting thing related to King David
. King David, there is the chapter of
repentance in Psalms, chapter 51. King
David says in the verse twice about
this matter: "For I know my
transgressions, and my sin is ever
before me." King David says: I, I
myself, have sinned, I have sinned
against myself always. King David is
constantly weeping over the sin of
Bathsheba; why does he weep over the
sin of Bathsheba? He says: My sin is
ever before me. Ultimately, as we all
know the well-known Midrash of our
Sages regarding Saul and King David:
Saul sinned once and it was forgiven,
King David sinned twice and it was not.
Twice King David stumbled one way or
another, and he did not find rest,
while Saul—once, and he found rest.
So what does King David say? "My sin is
ever before me," the prophet told him.
He said, "I have sinned," and the
prophet said to him, "The Lord also
hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not
die." We are done. Why is King David
constantly in his life tormented by
this sin? Sometimes one must conclude
the matter. King David’s sin with
Bathsheba, which is the sin of King
David that even Shimei son of Gera said
to him: "Get out, you man of blood, and
man of Belial." See how the sin began.
The source is before you: "And it came
to pass, after the year was expired, at
the time when kings go forth to battle,
that David sent Joab, and his servants
with him, and all Israel; and they
destroyed the children of Ammon, and
besieged Rabbah. But David tarried
still at Jerusalem." The situation is
that there is a war with the children
of Ammon. King David sends the entire
army ahead; King David is a man of war,
as we all know. And David is sitting in
Jerusalem. Well, he decided, as a king,
that he does not want to go out to this
war. Usually, he would be a commander
at the front— "follow me," as they
say in the army, a king leads—this
time. He said, I can send the Chief of
Staff without the king. "And it came to
pass in an eveningtide, that David
arose from off his bed, and walked upon
the roof of the king's house: and from
the roof he saw a woman washing herself
; and the woman was very beautiful to
look upon. And David sent and enquired
after the woman. And one said, Is not
this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam,
the wife of Uriah the Hittite? And
David sent messengers, and took her;
and she came in unto him, and he lay
with her; for she was purified from her
uncleanness: and she returned unto her
house." King David is sitting in
Jerusalem, the public is engaged in the
war with the children of Ammon. When he
is sitting in Jerusalem, he looks at
everything that is happening around him
, and the verse writes twice that
everything...that it all revolved
around the matter of the roof. And
David is sitting in Jerusalem, fine,
and it was eveningtide, and he walked
upon the roof of the king's house, and
the woman was also washing herself from
the roof. What is the implication?
Rabbi Israel: The sin was committed
because of the roof; he walks on the
roof and she is washing herself above
the roof, and then they meet in the end
. Ultimately, what happened to King
David is the encounter that our Sages
say in the end: "Whoever says David
sinned is merely mistaken." And what
was there? Yes, according to King
David's level, King David's level is
such that if there is a sliver of any
transgression in him, according to his
level it is already called a terrible
thing, as everyone explains, or that
there was a matter of premature
judgment, and so on. Why does the
scripture mention here twice this
matter of the roof? See what the Malbim
says on the spot: He meant to say that
even in his house he was not occupied
with its needs, he also was resting at
the time of evening. Our Sages said
that when David would eat his own meal,
he would sleep until nine hours, but
when he dined with kings, he would
sleep until the evening. And if so,
having dined at a king's banquet and
enjoyed pleasures, he subsequently did
not occupy himself with public needs;
he walked on the roof of the king's
house, and through this, he came to sin
when he saw a woman bathing. He did not
set out from his home to see from the
roof, in a way that he needed to intend
to see. The Malbim says here: Yes, the
roof was the fundamental trial of King
David. What is the point? There are
times when a person feels they are
walking on the roof. We have situations
where we allow ourselves, in some
scenario, to feel that "it won't happen
to me." I am protected, thank God, I am
in holiness all the time, I am immersed
in Torah. There are levels sometimes
where the very high level that a person
manages to reach is where the greatest
danger lies in wait for them. Let's
skip for a moment over the terminology.
King David says in Psalms, "A Song of
Ascents of David, Lord, my heart is not
haughty, nor my eyes raised, nor have I
walked in things too great and
wonderful for me." What is King David
saying? King David says, "Master of the
Universe, know that the most dangerous
thing in the service of God is the
feeling of internal pride a person has
precisely within their service of God."
If a person has pride about all sorts
of other things, then they must know to
correct their pride, it's terrible, but
understandable. But when within the
service of God, a person feels they
have reached some level, and they feel
they can think to themselves that they
can flirt with sin, they can entertain
thoughts of various transgressions, and
they say: "Listen, I am covered, this
cannot happen to me." The moment a
person feels some internal superiority
from their service of God in one way or
another, that is usually where a fall
of some kind will eventually occur. It
can be service of God that eventually
causes him pride over his surroundings.
He feels he can speak on matters of
study more than others. To speak boldly
against his teachers, against
authorities, against great Torah
scholars, against his peers. He really
tells himself, he has some
self-confidence, what does that mean? "
I know what I am saying and I am sure
of myself, and I have some..." and at
that moment that it exists here, the
danger is there. King David says: "
Master of the Universe, I have not
walked in things too great and
wonderful for me." Look at the holy
Alshich, the Alshich says: "My heart is
not haughty." Behold, for our Rabbis
have said: David was not deserving of
that deed, but rather if an individual
sins, they say to him: "Go to them."
David, as we explained in its place,
for it would not enter the heart of the
Blessed One to cause him to sin, so
that Reuben would write for the sake of
Simeon, but it is His way, may He be
blessed, that He guards the feet of His
pious ones from sin, for even through
the truth of the righteous, the Holy
One, blessed be He, brings about the
outcome through them. So how could King
David have sinned? And here there was
room to say, indeed, there was no sin
in his hand that would drag another,
but perhaps there was a bad preparation
, perhaps the agents of sin, which are
his heart and eyes, he did not guard
properly, and they acted as agents for
him. He saw Bathsheba and desired her;
he desired her in his heart and took
her. The Alsheich says here: King David
was holy of holies, but it was enough
that he allowed himself to think he
could look at some sort of
transgression or another—just seeing
it, I have no worries, it is far from
me, it does not apply to me. There are
all kinds of ways a person allows
himself—I call it opening windows to
negative things—where at that moment
he is already preparing the whole sin
for himself. Why? Because the agents of
sin are the ones that, in the end, make
it almost impossible for a person not
to sin, as the Gemara says in Tractate
Berakhot: How can it be that a father
puts his son in all these kinds of
situations, with all the variables—
what will the son do not to sin? There
are situations we almost cannot prevent
for ourselves. One of these fundamental
things is the spirit of internal pride
that we have. Look at what the Alsheich
writes here later on, or when he says:
"And he walked upon the roof of the
king's house," as it is written. And
perhaps that stroll was a result of
pride, like great kings who elevate
themselves over others through grandeur
and arrogance, saying in their heart: "
Who compares to me?" And from this, the
evil inclination found a place to pass
the blame onto him, to lead him to sin
through the sight of his eyes.
Therefore he comes and says: Behold,
there is no need to speak of actual
sins, for they were not what caused
that sin. King David was clean of sins,
that is simple, but it was enough for
that single point, that state he was in
, and that was it. For even the evil
preparations to cause a sin were not in
him. The three possible evil
preparations are, firstly, haughtiness
of heart—it is one thing—the
arrogance of heart where a person says
to himself: "I am permitted." The
Gemara says in Tractate Sotah. Whoever
has haughtiness, arrogance of heart, or
an arrogant spirit, pushes away the
feet of the Shekhinah. The Holy One,
blessed be He, says: Listen, I cannot
...I am settling...by your side, you
are pushing away the feet of the
Shekhinah. At that moment, there are
sins of the shadow of transgression,
and especially, you should know, sins
of the shadow of transgression within
the holy, within the very inner sanctum
. There is impurity of the Temple and
holy things, there is impurity outside
the Temple, but inside the inner
sanctum, within our own internal holy
of holies, there can also be some form
of impurity within the service itself,
and that is the subtlety we must be
aware of. One was a preparation to
cause a sin—that is the possibility
of haughtiness of heart, or perhaps
someone was an agent, or his own eyes
—the second—caused him to look at
evil, or that I was walking around: I
will not go into wonders and things too
great for me, and walking on the roof
in a way of greatness and wonder,
perhaps saying in my heart: "I am above
all kings." That was with a broadness
of heart, an arrogance of spirit, and
that awakened my eyes to see and my
heart to desire. King David says: That
is what caused it for me, one single
moment of that, a feeling that I can
walk around however I want, I have no
limitations. That caused all the damage
entirely. Now look at a most wonderful
thing: The Torah tells you beyond the
fact that you must remove obstacles in
one way or another, so that you do not
let someone fall because of you, God
forbid—and may that not happen—God
manages things beside him; but "You
shall make a parapet for your roof"—
for your roof, the upper part of a
person is the head, which is the part
where the soul resides, and it is the
place where the Divine Presence is
found up above. Everything a person
must do is, within the pillar of
holiness, to also place a parapet, to
place various limitations so as not to
project any sense of superiority. There
is such an expression that sometimes a
person within holiness allows himself
to act a certain way because he is of a
high level. And this matter: Who shall
ascend the mountain of the Lord? And
who shall stand in His holy place?
There are many people who manage to
ascend the mountain of the Lord, reach
attainments, and thank God, acquire
many pages of Gemara and remember them,
and reach levels of holiness and levels
of prayer, in the home and good
character traits. But sometimes, from
the ascent on the mountain of the Lord,
one looks down a little; and therefore,
King David says: Who shall ascend the
mountain of the Lord?,but also: Who
shall stand in His holy place? All. Any
work you have managed to achieve in
holiness, hold onto it, hold onto it in
a true way, so it does not cause you to
deteriorate anywhere from that ascent
and mountain you managed to climb. The
Pardes Yosef, books of Hasidism in
source 13, says "And you shall make a
parapet": Here, in the holy books,
there are various teachings on the path
of morality and fear of Heaven. The
Shal HaKadosh wrote: There is a hint
here regarding the matter of humility;
indeed, a person must refrain. And
distance himself from pride of heart
and arrogance. See there in his holy
words, and it is similar in the Noam
Elimelech, that "ma'akeh"(parapet) is
from the language of "Out of the depths
have I called You, O Lord"—parapet
from the language of "from the depths."
And in the Noam Megadim he wrote a nice
homily here, every Admor, etc.;but this
is it. All fathers "and you shall make
a parapet," from the depths. Everything
we do must be with great humility, with
lowliness: "Out of the depths have I
called You, O Lord." If so, look at the
Mishnah in Tractate Yoma, Tractate Yoma
. The Mishnah describes the entire
process of a person's repentance. At
the end, the thing tells us, the last
part of the Mishnah says: Sins between
a person and the Omnipresent, Yom
Kippur atones for; sins between a
person and his fellow, Yom Kippur does
not atone for until he appeases his
fellow, and then the Mishnah says once
again the teaching of Rabbi Elazar ben
Azariah. Look at an interesting thing,
look at it inside the Mishnah: Sins...
atone...atone...his fellow, this is
Rabbi Elazar. Ben Azariah, "From all
your sins before the Lord you shall be
purified"—sins between a person and
the Omnipresent, Yom Kippur atones;
sins between a person and his fellow,
it does not atone until he appeases his
fellow. Rabbi Akiva said, "Happy are
you, Israel"—this was not said only
about the Omer, this is said about Yom
Kippur: "Happy are you, Israel, before
whom do you purify yourselves? Who
purifies you? Your Father in Heaven, as
it is said: 'The hope of Israel is the
Lord,' and 'I will sprinkle clean water
upon you, and you shall be purified.'"
And it says, "The hope of Israel is the
Lord"—the Holy One, blessed be He,
purifies Israel. Tell me, what is
happening in this Mishnah? What does
Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah teach? More
than he suffers. How much does he
almost repeat his words? There are sins
between man and God, and there are sins
between man and his fellow—Yom Kippur
atones for the former. Yom Kippur does
not atone for the latter. Rabbi Chaim
Palaggi asks this, the Rif on Ein
Yaakov asks this; everyone asks, what
is the new insight here? It’s a
wonderful thing. The Tanna Kamma says:
There are two accounts. There is an
account between man and God; you repent
, you confess—we beat our chests five
times on Yom Kippur during the
confession—and that way we closed the
account with the Holy One, blessed be
He; we find atonement from the Holy One
, blessed be He, the matter is closed,
your iniquity is gone and your sin is
atoned for, done, you're free. Sins
between man and his fellow, if you hurt
someone or insulted them, that is not
atoned for; it is a different account,
you must know how to close it on your
own. A person has two bank accounts,
one has a minus, one has a plus; for
the Almighty, the minus is covered, but
if a minus remains, you must cover it.
Rabbi Eleazar ben Azariah teaches
otherwise; he disagrees with the Tanna
Kamma: It is not the case that there
are two separate accounts; it is one
big account, between man and God and
between man and his fellow—it is one
single account. What is this one
account? The one account tells you that
if you haven't closed the one between
man and his fellow, you haven't closed
the one between man and God either. If
a person lacks purity of heart
regarding his fellow man, even if he is
now crying out to the Holy One, "We
have betrayed, we have sinned," if he
allows himself to continue holding a
grudge or being held against, he is not
ready to apologize, not ready to lower
his head and ask for forgiveness. Maybe
you hurt someone? Maybe we were wrong?
We all make mistakes. No, how could
that be? Everyone hurt us, so we all
need to ask for forgiveness from us? Do
we need to ask for forgiveness? Have
you ever seen someone ask for
forgiveness? I need to ask for
forgiveness? Heaven forbid, everyone is
to blame except us. Rabbi Eleazar ben
Azariah tells you: Until you cleanse
yourself and purify the parts between
man and his fellow, even the account
between man and God will not be atoned
for. Because true purity is not
atonement. Atonement is closing an
account. Purity is an internal
transformation. It is within the person
himself. When does a person truly feel
pure? Not just because he closed the
business. Ultimate purity is only when
he resolves things between himself and
his fellow. The test of a person's
inner purity, in the very depths of his
soul, is when he is ready to forgive
someone with a whole heart, to let go
of his grievances, and to be willing to
ask for forgiveness. It is not easy, it
is not simple. Asking for forgiveness
from the Holy One, blessed be He, is
very easy; I once heard from Rabbi
Ovadia that there are those for whom it
is so easy, they beat their chests even
harder. Why? If the sins are piled up
to the top, he wants to release a
little, to make some room. Too much?
What do they do? They have to play the
game, shake it off a bit to the Holy
One, blessed be He, and ask for
forgiveness; no problem. How hard it is
for a person to stand before his fellow
and say to him: Sir, I was wrong, I
hurt you. It requires extraordinary
inner strength. And there is the test
of purification, this evil of Rabbi
Elazar ben Azaria: "Before the Lord you
shall be clean," both between man and
the Divine, and between man and his
fellow. And the moment a person is on
the roof in some form and feels
superiority—it doesn't matter in what
—each of us feels there is
superiority: one in wisdom, one in
money, and one in such and such
connections—when he feels superiority
, the answer can never be "Out of the
depths I call to You, O Lord." There
cannot be a state of "you shall make a
parapet for your roof." Guard the parts
where you feel lowly; guard them, do
not let all sorts of parts of your
personality fall, heaven forbid. If you
are at a high level, "you shall make a
parapet for your roof." King David once
went up to a roof, and once that
happened, he diverted his mind, and
what was caused was caused. King David
says, it is forbidden for a person to
be distracted in mind. "My sin is ever
before me.""Wash me thoroughly from my
iniquity." Sometimes we are asleep
while standing, because of our
situation. There are those among us who
waste time, we do all sorts of things,
such tools, we tell ourselves it’s
not so bad, it’s a one-time thing, we
will move on, we allow ourselves
because we have some superiority. A
person who has some stain is not at
peace. Look at you: on a white shirt
suddenly falls some fish sauce,
that’s it—the person at that moment
has no peace of mind. He looks, looks
for tissues, looks for wipes, he
doesn't want to go home with it, his
wife will see him—it’s already a
crisis, right? How will he return with
such a dirty shirt? And he looks to
change his shirt and so on. It is
uncomfortable. King David says: I want
to be in the feeling that if I have
flawed, sinned, insulted—I want to
feel uncomfortable. I don't want to
continue, to continue to feel I can do
whatever I want, I am on the roof—
that was the mistake, says King David.
David walks on the roof and says:
Master of the World, give me the
strength of soul, "My sin is ever
before me.""Wash me thoroughly from my
iniquity and cleanse me from my sin,"
not only wash me so I feel clean, but
the inner purification of humility,
that I have it—that is what I am
truly seeking. Please see what the
Aruch HaShulchan says: On the 15th, we
eat, drink, and rejoice after Yom
Kippur. It was already said, "Go, eat
your bread with joy," for Yom Kippur,
etc. And then he says: The most
important thing to do on the evening
after Yom Kippur—to set up some stake
in the Sukkah. A very interesting thing
: immediately after Yom Kippur, our
roof turns into a Sukkah, simplicity.
If because of the roof we climbed onto
some roof and allowed ourselves to
commit a sin, what is the first repair
we do immediately after Yom Kippur?
Setting up the Sukkah. Why? Simplicity.
And this is the guarantee that
everything you took upon yourself
during the High Holy Days will be
preserved throughout the entire year.
If you live in simplicity, in humility
— "Out of the depths I call to You, O
Lord," and "you shall make a parapet
for your roof." Now let us return to
what we opened with: The Gemara says,
Rabbi Humi found Rava in Mechoza. What
could be greater than that? Imagine a
rabbi immersed in study for an entire
year, not seeing his family, not seeing
his children, just total dedication. Do
you know what that is? Have you ever
felt what it is to study for 12 hours
straight? Wow, he finishes after 12
hours and tells himself: "Well done,
you're great, this is it!" That is how
the greats studied. "Rabbi, you're
Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky, you're a rabbi
to me, you're Rabbi Ovadia"—there’s
no one like you; he grants himself a
reward for his dedication. Not just a
day, not 12 hours, not two days, not a
week; a year, a year of extraordinary
devotion to Torah. Only once for Yom
Kippur, a little for the holidays, he
returns home. After the holidays—
there’s no break for them. After,
after Sukkot, he takes a bus back to
the yeshiva for another year. That is
incredible. One day, not only was he
immersed for a year, but the study was
all light, tunnels, extraordinary
flashes, and he is on the roof. He is
on the roof, and his wife is crying.
But what is the pain here compared to
...compared to his spiritual level? The
level on the roof, a whole year, One
tear—the entire level came crashing
down. Because that’s how it is: a
person can be at a high level, but for
a moment, he forgets that there is also
"man to his fellow," and there is
purity, and there is a depth to things
that one must observe around him and
not ignore. And don't get the feeling,
even if you truly possess extraordinary
spiritual powers, that you are on the
roof. And the Sages—the Sages didn't
just show that he was on the roof, on
the eve of Yom Kippur, without any
sensitivity. With every...with every
single tear, it is not a punishment, it
is reality. That is how it is. If we
want to approach the High Holy Days, in
preparation...everyone has some
internal feeling—we all have it—
that we feel we are better than others.
"Well done," it's fine, it's good to
compliment someone, one shouldn't be in
a state where I can't say "I," but if
it causes...where is the practical
difference? If it causes you to feel a
sense of superiority toward others, and
you permit yourself to sometimes speak
a little bit of gossip, and talk, or
ridicule someone, and do things that
are inappropriate—that’s when you
are on the roof, and beware that you
don't fall from it. Rather, "you shall
make a fence for your roof," guard the
steps, develop them, elevate them so
they won't, God forbid, be a stumbling
block for a person. That is the highest
level that can be. On this, King David
composed, on this very point he
composed the entire chapter of
repentance. Yes, on...on the sin of
Bathsheba. The scripture says there:
What, what, what, what was the sin? Did
the sin end? He says: It ended, but I
am afraid, "my sin is always before me,
" wash me thoroughly from my iniquity.
No.