שביל בים - פרק 90 - משבר גיל 40

Welcome to the podcast Path in the Sea of Life, to pave a path in the sea of ​​life. I am Moish Hershler hosting Aron Zilber in episode number 90. 90 [Kahkhag] Justice Episode A righteous man will fall. A righteous man will rise. A righteous man who raises the dead. What does it mean for a righteous man to fall? It came out last. What song about the fact that everyone falls. A righteous man rises. It's not that there's a problem with the righteous man falling because everyone falls. You know that in general the letter says that it is on the side and that which is near the right hand is righteous. Oh really. yes. But it's still, it's still going to work out. So listen, today this episode I'm talking about, what else is it this time? Yes, I told you nine things that I wanted to talk about, and it's because it's something personal of mine that I said I want to open it up here with you. Our viewers and feeders and I am now 40 years old right now congratulations congratulations so a moment of flowers and beers can we send everything in an orderly manner where is the address oh the poem Zelda Arba in Jerusalem poet Zelda Arba Jerusalem yes and you can also by email or WhatsApp and so on now a I will tell you something so it seems you have reached a righteous age yes you already feel like that at the age of 9 this is this so this is exactly the opposite so all the messages in front of 40 and tea tea tea and there was also a talk let's do a party with all the friends and family something wide and I felt so I don't know what the age crisis of 40 I am in the middle still I am like not okay with birth there is at all a subject a a soul how much is at all appropriate and worthwhile and what is the meaning and to indicate the measure you did not specify it does not matter each as heat as according to the illustration kfum com winter delay but according to his style but I am not at the stage where I want an obligation to sit down to do what day wa 40 seems to me debts 50 60 I would like to do it now I am still in the middle looks don't bother me okay doing nice but On the other hand, there's this term, the global term, the 40-year-old crisis, and maybe I'm making fun of it. I don't want to deal with this painful issue that, well, I'm already 40 years old and already, already, already, the old man is starting to get old. yes. You're already more of a closet I'm already yes I'm already getting closer to 50 so that's it I said let's open it here so what what do you want us to talk about what is a 40 year crisis anyway first of all let's understand it like this a 40 year crisis already today many people are already experiencing it at age 30 I thought that now because the nature of life is evaluated maybe we'll experience it at age 50 or then we'll experience it a second time oh okay everything is faster today no I'll tell you it really does matter where you come from it really does matter because the essence of a 40 year crisis is this moment when a person comes the first thing we see is a person that means when we are young we are full of plans and want to conquer the world I still or therefore you still don't connect it you you you 40 year crisis the 40 year crisis is the moment when a person understands that there is a creator to the world who runs the world but does he understand it about really is it a creator that a person understands that really the creator so he is already so he is already so he has already gone through he is already going through the crisis the problem starts that we don't realize that there is Creator of the world, yes, we know this in our minds, yes, but no, not really, some kind of acceptance that there are things in your plans that will never happen, that they will never happen, that you see that by the age of 40 it didn't happen and you say, well, if it didn't happen by the age of 40, maybe I should start saying goodbye to some of my dreams about today. We're in a period, forgive me. I, I, maybe I have a youthful rebellion of the age of 40, as if we're in a period where at the age of 40 you can start a second career and there's a career that's not what most people experience. Let's put it this way. I remember once meeting a friend, or we were 36 at the time, and he told me something like this in acceptance. A friend from the yeshiva, we weren't friends, but we were friends. She told me, " Listen, listen, and it tells me, okay, listen, this is life." As if he was already 36, he said to himself, "This is life." Well, now everyone meets him at a different age, so the word "age 40" is like, usually after a person already has something, it's not a person who doesn't have it. A person who at the age of 25 is still hungry, hungry, hungry, still doesn't have money, still doesn't have an apartment, still doesn't have it sometimes in classes. Some people don't have a wife, they don't have children, with us it's already 40 years old, it's already after you start getting married, so there's a crisis where a person sees what kind of house they've arrived at, who wants to hang out with him, who doesn't want to hang out with him, which is a different kind of 40-year-old crisis. Basically, age 40 is the crisis where you see what you've achieved and understand what you haven't achieved, and then it actually makes people, so there are people who have actually reached very, very high peaks and say, "Someone really sent this to who the hell, maybe you should make a podcast about it or an email. I do n't remember what he talked to me about about people who have reached their goals and say, "Well, and so I already have, and I already have, and I already have, I got to listen to a few podcasts in the general sector where people are interviewed who have made a fortune, meaning they sold a company and they received a sum that, by his definition, is life-changing: $40 million, $100 million, $200 million, each to Pom Khorfadli. You said each one, and the mistakes of the other, and the most amazing thing is to discover that they achieved it and ask questions. Her, tell me what will change in your life? nothing. nothing. Is there some kind of consciousness that my children will be able to do whatever they want? They didn't have to work to make a living. nonsense. Your children had to do it too, because otherwise they would be nobodies and make nothing of their lives. In short. The only difference between people who made an exit and people who didn't make an exit is that the one who didn't make an exit still has a dream of making an exit. Economically. And the one who has already made an exit, maybe he still has 500 exits from another place, a place of creation, of doing something significant, but instead of money, he discovers that he received a bill for 50 million dollars and nothing has changed because the beautiful house he bought as a result of this, he could have bought before that too, after all, he is not buying a house now, what can he do, two breakfasts every day, what can he do with the money? So people who have already achieved things say to themselves, and people who have not achieved things and as if they have tried in circles and gone from here to there and they do not have some kind of achievement that they can point to, so they say, wait, so, where is my life going? And there is the third type that you say, wait, I, for me, have not stopped to take stock yet. No, I will tell you, I will not stop to take stock. That is what you say, no, so, a second, or your stocktaking, there are many, no, I will tell you, look, the number 40 in Judaism is wisdom. He is 40 gates of wisdom. And according to the Torah's internal teachings, the first 40 years of a human being are the stage of wisdom. The fact that the acquisition of knowledge and material is still immature and 40 years from now, what you have acquired so far will already exist. Now you'll lose it. Now actually open it. This is the stage of understanding. The third 40 years that until 120 is already the end of the world, it's already a higher stage, but actually the stage of collecting data until the age of 40 was supposed to be finished now. Everything is already there. Now, let's talk about it for a moment. Now, actually, what is written in the books that 40 is both open and closed will be the loser in these clichés. Okay, I'm paying attention. So, what I'm coming to say is that I am the mental place that at age 40 is supposed to be until now. This is what you are now reaping. What you are reaping. Come on, tell me about what you sowed in the first 40 years. What you are reaping? Come on, tell me about what you are not. This is what you are telling me. Actually, wait, I am coming to clarify this. You say, listen. There are dreams that need to be detailed. There are things that will not happen. No, I did not say. I did not say. From the stop. [Laughter] Take stock. Now go to some other level. Second, I did not say. So you did not understand me. I told you about the essence of the crisis. Why is it called the Age of Arb crisis? So you did not say what needs to be done then in the period. We don't have any kind of milestone for the age of 40 because the world is constantly evolving and changing. The world we talked about in the previous episode about artificial sex, which until Shoshanim didn't even exist. And the same consensus that you have at age 20 and you have at age 40. The opposite is true. You have more tools. You have more data. It's that you're actually in your head saying, "Wow, I'm already at a different age. It's all in your head." I completely agree. First of all, this is a very important insight. You're already trying to calm me down. But I'm asking, wait a minute. A person who reaches age 40. Come on, come on, wait a minute. I'll say it differently than in the past. The workplace I brought into my life. My father told me, "Wow, I would tell me, look, what a good place. Thank God, you're settled until retirement. Here's a place. I told him, Dad. I won't be here for more than three or four years. Someone who forgot after three years. I left. I'm moving forward. I'm today. Today. So. So. Once upon a time, really. Age 40. You started thinking about a pension at age 60. Not today. Today. Today. The retirement age for a pension. You're getting later and you're not at all. Not thinking about retirement. You say I'm constantly evolving. So where is this psychological stop here? this is. But yes, I think there comes a moment when you have to stop. okay? There are those who stop on their own and there are those whom life gives them a slap on the face to stop on their own. We will stop. Okay? I got this spoon at the age of 40. That's actually interesting. what? chapter? Chapter 15. Yes. You were around 40 years old. yes. I won't tell you, but more or less yes, and I was in a crazy race [sighs][gasps] My business is already there. I remember going to get a valuation of my business. How much is this business worth if I now bring in an investor? 25 million, 100 million, okay, you've arrived. Let's say yes. What now? And suddenly something happens. God sent me what's called the spoon on the face. I met you this morning. Someone tells me, listen. I just got two spoons. And thank the Creator. These spoons are the greatest gifts I can receive. So sometimes it comes in the form of a birthday gift. Birthday. Instead of waiting for the spoon, do it in a celebration. But stop for a second. Check what the event is. What do I want to check if I've reached the age of 40. And I want to ask for a moment. Where do I take my time? Where do I take my time? This is the most precious thing. We had a chapter here about time, right? About 4,000 Weeks, about the book 4,000 Weeks, I don't know about the book specifically or anything, but we talked about it , we talked about it, yes. So when you're raising children, at the stage where you know, you get married, raise children, you don't really have time. People are going crazy just to make ends meet, and today even more so. So, there's a certain moment that you need to create and ask yourself, "Moishe, Moishe, what about you? Where are you in all aspects of life? Where are you in your personality? Where are you in the things that are important to you in life? Where are you with your family? Where are you really with your achievements? Where do you want to go? What would a life that was worth living be like for you? I agree with that very much. And I'm like, "Wait, why did you stop me?" What were you so afraid to hear? Oh okay, go on, you've achieved so I am yes yes it's hard for you to hear what I'm saying well wait maybe because I just turned 40 well these are questions that a person starts asking themselves the question wait who am I am I another version of sophisticated artificial intelligence speaking of the chapter on intelligence or my name who is this me now what can I tell you that instead of me slotting myself in today I get a lot of opportunities a I am here on a lot of projects in their early stages that I can be a partner in one day they also give me a lot of advice and one of the things I received in my crisis is the gift to understand who I am not what are the things that I thought I was and discovered that I am not so I know that some will say no maybe it's a perception why are you just shutting down maybe you can be in my eyes the complete liberation no I allow you to be much poorer and sometimes it hurts you have to give up a lot of things and I think that age 40 is a period of time that you have already passed 20 years from the day you came into the world as if into the world of action more or less at what age are you You got married at 21. 21. Beauty is a momentary stop to examine all the important things in life. To see a moment. This is what I wanted to be. This is what I dreamed of. Is what I dreamed of still relevant? Are my dreams still being fixed? What do I need to replace all my dreams with? What's going on? Is there a book called Mizzy My Cheese? It doesn't look like you have it here. Yes, I have it. I don't know if I'm physically well, but I'm physically well. Yes, I have it. Should be the same. And one of the things I read him years ago, one of the things he writes there, I don't know if it's from someone he's bringing, some young person who's 15, 20 years old, that's a quick take? No, I don't think you have it here. I am here from this outside. Oh okay he brings up that some one who had a list of goals was a young man from 15 to 20 70 72 goals things he wanted to do in life and he fulfilled up to that age he fulfilled everything the vast majority and then he is how important it is to write goals to write your dreams what are her dreams at the age of 15 at the age of 20 to reach the summit of Mount Everest a to this one alone here here here to do once a journey like this and that to write a book for him I have looked at the book all my life about this chapter that died something stupid the person stuck stuck for 50 years in the dreams of the age of 20 because you know people do at the age of 80 to dreams of the age of five you are talking to me about 2040 and that is exactly the purpose of this crisis this crisis is meant to awaken a person if after all what what is this crisis experience there are people who experience it what are they talking about I had someone like that this week and he writes me a very very painful email this because in the trainers course we really have a chapter on this issue chapter 23 where I talk about Czech it was other things but also this As if about life management, not time management, but life management, this is a very moving chapter. The person writes, why listen? I really seem to have asked myself where I am and I am. Shaar Uri has been for several weeks. This is what a 40-year crisis looks like. And it can happen at any age. It can happen at 30. Everyone does it at their own pace. One by one, they meet at 50. So there is one who, as I said, this crisis is because he has achieved nothing in his eyes. And there is a person who has achieved and says, " I am" and he has no answer. So what I came to say again is, "I am not." So wait, what is the answer to that? So I am. In two things. A. I agree with this issue itself. And I, who was a guy in a yeshiva. You hang out with Harfi Bazon. He doesn't talk about these things. He talks about it a lot. He is actually not willing to be taken as Judaism as something that is disconnected. What is your mental psychology and your way of life? Yes, there is a Torah. There are commandments. There must be a. If you are a Nia at 40, then what does the Holy One, blessed be He, say about it? Let's take a look. One second about everything, everything must be said, this is the uniqueness in fact, and that is why it is so popular, so people come in once, hear, come to disturb it, yes, because people don't like to be confused, give us the Torah in the Basmidrash and life separately, whoever lives life is not a straw, in order, joys in honor of the Torah that has caused, right, right, it was a great pain, and it is something that is really, oh, part of our Esther here in a generation that people think that such things are not related at all, that on Tisha B'Av you can get to yell, yell at a person in the middle, or that children can hit, this regime of thoughts, in my opinion, is the worst thing, as if what we think now, everyone should think, and whoever doesn't think like that will receive violence, in my opinion, the most terrible thing, and it is simply, it escaped me to talk about it like that, but I also experience it, Hezki Hasid, Belz, oh, simply, the thought police, what do you mean, Hasibel, from Hasidism, from all kinds of extremist groups that come to demonstrate against some priest who is doing his job or between some thing that causes terrible violence, the police You think of allowing someone a different Torah opinion as if your Torah opinion is the one that determines and everyone who does that is simply one religion for a colleague or violence. Listen, listen, here we are talking about a very wise Tamid who has, oh, the great ones of the previous generation had authority over him and he is a human being. He has thousands, thousands, thousands of students. Even those who have repented that he has returned. I also learned that it is me. You write his articles in the family. But I don't know. I said, okay. I'm going to start listening to him because of them. So that's it. Then, those children who attacked him in Medina. We were chatting. But no. So, come on. Let's get back to the point. I said that I was a guy in general. In 17, 18. I wrote a sentence and that's how I remember it to this day. A sentence like that. The sentence goes like that all day long. I run away from myself and myself chases me and I run away from him at night. I get to bed and myself is there and he asks me. Not many times. He is not there. You know what people do. They take their cell phones to bed. God forbid, there will be a moment. So I was in a yeshiva that I didn't have anything like that. Yes, or read a book or come to bed only. Who collapse because these few minutes of I will meet myself wait who am I this is the conscious me self this is the inner self beautiful that they will not meet God forbid and forbid beautiful and then and myself if you meet you run away because the self is there and asks me where are you and I have nothing to answer him so I am the pain you know this is the biggest problem we have if we talk again about the 40 age crisis it exactly sat on this point so here is exactly my question that I did not meet myself meaning the self is the conscious me as a person chasing after achievements and after goals and after and after and after and after and after you don't think in our generation today here I am exactly number 40 the eyes Aharon Zilberg has a certificate 40 influence up to the age of 40 so you see this is you age 40 did something to you yes I also received such tweets act tweets such someone oh no I think it is that it is real but a I think it is not so fair to take the age 40 of 20 years ago and 40 years ago for what it is today I mean today Moshe age 40 is In my opinion, a symbol because the perception of time has changed and what people do in a year and what people do at this age changes, but it's not for everyone. You need to look left and right for a moment. Really, come out for a moment. I feel like it's like a lull. When there's someone, because everyone's used to coming. So, okay, what's happening? Look, what's happening. But for people at this age, most people, I'm not talking about people who are engaged in personal development. They're already in a different place. But most people, 20 years have passed. As far as they're concerned, you're saying, reality has changed. Not for everyone. Reality has changed. The reality around them has changed. Has the reality of most people's lives changed? Will I run away from sitting in a kollel now? 20 years is fine. He didn't necessarily choose this. I was six months ago. It's cold to talk about what kind of kohl? We talked about the fact that you need to take your methods to the world of Torah. Yes, I do. And I want to. And it's in the program. But it's cold. That thing is very bad for me. And I gave it some kind of name. You know, a conversation. And then okay. A conversation that I prepared and then it started. They started to think, "Shlot," and I personally shook a person. I say, "Actually, I understand. I'm sitting like this." 13 A year in the kollel I never stopped to ask why I'm here so now following the decrees and the law of the gyuz and the denial of the inheritance and all these matters so it actually makes a lot of people angry but but a person who doesn't have this brake doesn't have this stop and no matter the trouble it's a personal crisis a 40 year crisis or some kind of bankruptcy or all sorts of things like that a person who doesn't stop meaning a year can go by and he doesn't stop for a moment to think I and I haven't met himself for a moment so a 40 year crisis is a very blessed thing when a person starts asking questions now I know that people here who are called you want answers for a moment so what do you do Zim they want answers for example we had an episode we had an episode Alica which was all mostly questions people wrote me stomach answers what but a 40 year crisis I think in essence first of all you have to raise a question heck heck right you were crazy now there is someone who is at 40 still in the same madness he was at 25 so it's possible that this decree will come at 50 he will have given up most of the children and somehow the house will empty out here is a syndrome The empty nest is one of the biggest crises of women, but not only women, but also the house needs to be cleaned up. The children need me. They need to wake me up at night. They need to be made to sleep in the morning. They need to be prepared. They need to be woken up. They need to be woken up. And suddenly they fly out of the nest. They go to a yeshiva. They get married. And a woman wakes up in the morning and asks, "What now?" And now this can be at the age of 50 or at the age of 55. It depends. There are those who are at the age of 45. It depends. Everyone has their own family situation. And people really go into crisis because they lose meaning. So here you are. This also connects to the episode we had about a mission. Remember this episode? Silence succeeded in the house. Yes, thanks to Yochanan Hannerach. Yes, it's not the mission. It was an episode of a. Yes, yes, yes, about Yehud. Yehud. Yes, it's just me. What I'm actually saying is that we are really in the month of Elul now, and it's a time of a time of repentance. And it's actually a time in the year that we are actually meant to set our goals and direct them. And after that, once a year, we I also told you this once in one of the episodes that, as you always say, vision is something that once Once in a while you sit down and write it down and then you work and focus only on the goals. Oh, the month of Elul, do a manshov. And all this period is a period of agreeing on the vision. And after that, now come, come, come, come, go, take a look around and see who does it. What percentage do it? They really do it. They don't do teshuva. And they do it. It's true. It's clear to me that everyone who comes and prays, but how much do they really do? I'll tell you that a person. I told you before. Come, I want to repeat it here. You saw in one of the books that a Hasidic man came to his rabbi and told him that he was finishing the prayer and his head was hurting from so much intention and his head was really hurting. So he said to him, "I don't understand the fact that in all your hearts, prayer is in the heart. How did you get to the head now? And it's so true. So true. Because it's true that when you direct in the heart, you also direct in the brain because you want to because you connect with the words that you say. But if someone only connects with the words and they don't, their heart is not there. So then you didn't pray. So I'm now. So the same thing. When it comes to Elul, many people do what it says in the book. You have to do. You have to do. You have to do. You have to do. Confession of the past, acceptance of the future, what are you telling me here? You see, in the coaching course, you also have this issue. There is a fear of honesty. I mean, people are afraid that the moment I don't remember in which class you do it, then there is a stage where people seem to be afraid that their suggestions will fall apart and then what will happen? What will happen? The moment I do their forehead right? In the first 20 years, usually a person builds the persona. There is some kind of approach that he builds the persona. What is a persona? It's like who preaches who I am and who I want to show the world. And he finished building it at about the age of 40. He already has status, he already has a job path, he has already reached some position, he has already reached some salary again, and there are those who haven't yet , but most people somehow found themselves in the breath. And then there is actually a fear of honesty. To take off the mask and also in those. Answer. Everything that I am. Then they do the answer in a way that is right. But because he is not really willing to check exactly. Open the holes. Justify saying, okay, who am I really? What is really happening? That's not it. Maybe I'm supposed to change everything that I do. Exactly. I'm not. Want to deal with it no no institute touch it so you say actually age 40 it's supposed to be a microcosm of the of this thing of a of a month bro I I'll tell you something we really live on the 40 day before you gave birth but and no one is going to religion in wood age 40 and 40 years old rakot in generation and 40 40 and I and I say I still feel 35 feel 30 I don't feel 40 could be that I was 40 in a few more years I don't feel 40 you so you can uh a can be suspect imitate I'll be honest with you with our zines I don't want to do you now treatment in front of the cameras I'll just say two things one you do work you do all the years not just sitting here what's your connection on the podcast my man personal development he's been doing all the years in this but there's also something there that sometimes you really need to have some kind of crisis of taste you haven't tasted yet maybe yes I don't know no we didn't do an episode about it here and I'm experiencing a lot not one I told here and there's still a full life In these things and if you are willing to enter into these crises, you don't know how painful it is but how much good comes out of these crises. You say, there is some book, how not to miss a crisis, a good crisis. That means crises are because I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. I'll give you an example. Many people have had a time between times. Yes, yes, those who celebrate tend to carve out time between times. People spend time together. [Laughter] Or now, people go out with their families, spend a lot of time together with their families. Okay, and some people lie down. An unusual mental trend during this period. We have an episode about vacations. Yes, this is it. In a nutshell, it was a feature episode. A very good episode, right? But it didn't talk about the crises that occur during vacations. Whether you're going out as a couple, or with your family, you're suddenly in a place to meet the kids for a morning, evening, or Saturday when you're already exhausted, you're on vacation all day. Suddenly the whole day is on purpose. You discover all sorts of things that you might not have discovered. You discover the connection between you, you discover the lack of connection, you discover sons I raised and raised and they are like what I wanted them to be and the same thing about peace at home the same thing about the relationship system within the family now there are those who experience a lot of a lot of pain and then what do they do then they say well listen this needs to stop with all these trips just fights and just a mental tendency that's exactly and there are those who say wait a minute there are problems that freedom creates and there are problems that freedom only reveals once I gave a taxi driver one he told me he told me he was retired he finished working he was in the army in a cage for many years I told him you are a driver he says look I retired after a few months my wife says did you notice that we are spending all day I told her wow right you are right what happened I said you will find more time too much time away from home go to work understand you let's be a driver you understand now instead of going and solving a minute what is the root why we fight come on so let's run away so many people who have passed between time with difficult with the family the same thing c also holidays that are coming It's the same, it's the same event in a different way, but the same idea. They're just waiting for this thing to pass and let me get back to my routine. But wait a minute, there's some kind of call here. There's something here. How are you missing this call? How are you missing this crisis? This should lead you on a quest to ask questions and start looking for answers to the questions, to the hardships that have appeared. To understand, wait a minute, what's going on here? Are we sitting now, the whole family will be having a barbecue and everyone with their cell phone inside themselves and just taking pictures and that's it together, but in fact no one is with anyone else, only the children are playing among themselves and what if they are adults, they are inside, each with their cell phone? So this is what people do. This is the way to escape from a crisis instead of being in a crisis and understanding that this crisis is an amazing call for you. Just agree to be there, agree to be a moment in this crisis and ask questions and a moment to go look for answers. Most of the answers are within you, but you usually need someone to help you get them out. Or you should also go learn something, really answers to questions. Questions about the essence of life, questions about mission, questions about who I am, questions about what I really want to achieve, what legacy I want to leave here. A. Everyone with the questions they asked themselves. This is the purpose of turning 40, holidays, soul-searching between times. Everything eventually comes together into a crisis idea whose purpose is to lead you to your next level. To your next level, it's a huge gift. And don't you think that most people are afraid of these questions? Obviously they are afraid, so they go to bed with their cell phones, so that one moment they won't have the question they'll hear, which is nice, until the moment they fall asleep? Do you think everyone can handle this crisis? From drinking. Not only can they, they must. [Sighs] It's a gift. It's just not living. not. It could be that there are people who would be taken away by something like this if they didn't work. What will take them? What will happen? They will be lost, they will be lost. Great, start searching. Need a slave who found who will take off drones into the air you get lost people are afraid of getting lost what will happen if you get lost very much you without you it you very very speak in the language of ah of Breslov I don't I don't know the truth is that solitude people think that solitude is talking to the name solitude is going to meet yourself but I'm not familiar enough with Breslov Torah to speak it but its name but but but its name really then it really is a gift. I can tell you that I have also experienced and I am experiencing wow this is a very, very painful gift and I understand why people resist accepting these gifts why they fight everything the name the name is good for me no no no no no no they will not fire me a job that understands decides not to take my job that and they are not ready to accept a moment a moment the name wants something from you in this event he enlightens you I told him the same one this morning he met he told me I wrote a spoon I told him do you know what it's called in English? Then I explained to him that it's also called a wic, what's it called, the sound of the sycamore tree? It wasn't a force. Who helped someone and he hurt them? He came back very sharply. I stopped helping people and I don't. I don't give myself to people either. Now I don't. I'm not a counselor. I'm not in a synagogue in the morning. I don't give people a break. So I just listened to him. I just told him this sentence. You're a street trainer. I'm not a street trainer. I'm just here at the clinic. I'm not a street trainer. I'm a trainer here. Anyone who wants to listens to me here and undergoes training even if they don't come to me. So I tell him, listen, that was the call of the sycamore. He didn't understand what I was talking about. [As a brother] So he made decisions. He doesn't help people anymore or he doesn't devote himself to people anymore because he has received such two contradictions in his life. I don't know if he hears me, I don't think so, but I wish he could hear this. You know that the Rebbe of the Vision, may he be healthy, who sent him a prayer book, [ __ ], calling for the difficult years he had, the sweet years, he was 19 years old, in a difficult situation, and I think he is a figure of one of the great men of Israel, truly, that you can learn from him how he is, how he grew. What I really know is this: I remember once I knocked on his door. I was a young man. I collected money. I knocked on the door of a house. He opened the door. He never forgot those moments. He was so authentic and natural. I would have gone to the Har Hov Rashi. He had one. I would have come there. The story of Chaban is what he is today. So yes, he would have done the same prayers. The same 90s. The same ones. But I tell you again, it sounds like the great men of Israel. It sounds a little bad. You are distancing this from us. And I say, there is no human being who does not go through crises, and it does not have to be a crisis of age 40. It could be a client who left you. It could be a job that you realize is going to end. I mean, it's not right and it's not right to wait for some big paw and even if I feel at the peak and in the middle exactly didn't take this time it's Elul and Oel start like this open all the cards now it's ready it hurts I understand anyone who tries to avoid it really hurts hurts physically how many people do you know that following a process that they did themselves at the age of 40 they a created some kind of whole courses full of people like this a high percentage of them average age this is this there was a time someone did a survey the average age was 38 wow today this is it's not always like this it changes but a lot of people who actually yes it made them need now before the episode a I got an email I popped up just a moment ago and someone writes to me that he came to the course at the age of 60 plus the 60 year crisis and it changed his life very, very significantly wow so I'm not me I declare and say I don't change people's lives and the course doesn't change people's lives people change themselves yes I don't take responsibility how do you say it's everyone a of life but it's people changing people changing their lives with the help of the course tool okay so a I'm like there I wake up reading this chapter. I'm like saying to myself, okay, maybe all this denial that I said at the beginning of the chapter is Reg, wait a minute, we're in an era where age, age, people's age is changing. I can give you a direct poem. I can try. Yes, no, no. What's your need to say? Well, try for a moment. Observe that everything is still ahead of me because I'm just in the middle. Yes, because it's an answer to some question. When a person says a sentence, it's usually an answer to some question. There's a question there, and that's the answer. What is the question that's behind this sentence? What is the question? The question that you answer and you say I'm only halfway through, I've barely started. What is the question? The question is, how do I want to celebrate this birthday? No no no you answer answer you answer me answer you say I don't know what people want I'm just at the beginning I'm like everything is still changing everything answer to what question is this no what is the question that question the question I can maybe maybe this is the answer I refuse to make up my mind okay what is the question the question okay maybe you now you are already closed now wait a minute then explain the question what is the fear in the question that you are not even ready to listen to the question you immediately run for the answer am I already am you know I'll tell you from me in one of the crisis barrel I sat with one of my students let's say listen Yad Licron his name is he told me so a he wants to sit with me when you worked on the crisis he told him a sentence that I really objected to it took me many years to agree with this sentence he told me you are not able to solve problems immediately the solutions you are so creative and every time you have a problem you immediately have solutions to the problem and today I know how true that is and it is still very difficult for me by the way I am working on it what is called it is difficult for me to be with people in distress I want a solution solution solution don't leave me from the problem and I am slowly learning to be able Contain problems now you are not aware of the question that you are you are asking yourself you immediately you have so the answer wait I I I I barely started the things in front of me I have a lot a lot a second solution why is it a response to what distress are you answering I don't know returns it as distress I will give you a question come on come on be Nahdin Nidin it is there an answer to something that scares you and you answer it you even when we listen a moment someone threw you the question something internal and you immediately answer you try a moment to go the hole in what is called reverse engineering when someone answers to let's leave you a moment someone tells me listen you come in the middle of the conversation and say I am an honest and loyal person I have not taken a penny from anyone what do you understand was what was her name before someone put him in some kind of fraud some kind of theft or suspected him of something or he asked him what question is this now you know the answer you said at the beginning of the meeting what was the answer once again that I don't feel like gish this is a period of time that I mark it differently than a year's birthday which question is are you now ah ah is this p Continue continue are you now if you now know a concluding chapter okay if you are closing a chapter because because what does it mean to conclude a chapter let's say that let's say that it really was to conclude a chapter what is the problem let's say let's say yes I am not in any status on any level in my life I am not in the conclusions I am not in the conclusion stage why because a conclusion means that I am just starting a new business now what? What's up? Because a conclusion means that you say, if you don't agree, I create, a conclusion means that there is some kind of closure. closure. And what's the problem with closing? That things are still open. Let's say there is a closure. What's the problem with closing? No, but there is no, but there is no, in any field I have not closed. There is, let's say there is. And if it was like if I were your son-in-law, I understand, okay, it could be in a few years, it's there. I'm asking you if they told you that age 40 is a stopping point, why do you oppose it? What's the problem with that? Let's say it's a turning point, a chapter in life is closed. What's the problem with that? Because that's what I don't feel it. I'm just asking why you don't feel it. There's something there that is very, very opposed. No, because there's some kind of rental decision here that this is the age that things are supposed to be closed. No, let's say it was maybe 50 years ago, it was like this or 100 years ago. You're arguing with something and I'm asking why you're arguing with it. It doesn't mean he's right. You're arguing with some imaginary person who tells you that age 40 is a crisis and you oppose him now. I don't think he's right. I don't think you're right. I'm asking why you oppose him. What scares you about what he says that age 40 is a chapter. I'll tell you. Why do you think that you now have a house? You're a farmer. Yes, you're a farmer. You've sown a whole year. They tell you now. Come on. Summarize, I'll turn the fruits around a bit. I understand. Now I'll explain to you. Explain to you what I understood. That's okay. Yes, there's something you're not happy with where you are today. Not that I'm bending over backwards. Listen. Listen. It's not good to demand that you find what you're listening to. I 'm in the middle. Don't stop me here. Don't tell me now. Summarize. I have nothing to summarize right now. It's not good for him now. Moshe. I want. I want you to understand how wrong you are. Okay. I've known Moshe for a few years. 10, 15, 15 years. Something like that. Now I see the path you took. Leave like a human being. Leave now in terms of a scoreboard on the wall or in the bank as a human being. Can we conclude that by the age of 40 you had gone on a crazy journey with yourself, with your family, with your spirituality? And if possible, yes, but even at the age of 39, that's true. No, but okay. So age 40 came into being and I said, " Wow, what a path I've taken." Now it may be that financially you're not there yet, you don't know what you are and what you're not. There may be millions out there waiting for a construction evacuation that takes them a really long time to figure out. You don't see them. Are you afraid to stop? Don't stop and say, "Wow, what an amazing period of time ." At the age of 40, I'm changing my prefix. How lovely. What a way I did. What an observation. Time to look at all the moments I've made to date. In how I developed, in how I grew, in how I coped, in what I went through, in what kind of home I have, in what kind of children I have , in what kind of relationship I have, in what kind of spirituality, in what kind of prayer I have. You can say, okay, at 50 I want a different station, but this station, this is a crazy station. why? why? Why object and say, no, no, you didn't close, you didn't close, no, you didn't close, I want to grab something else here. No problem, we don't need your life, but I definitely think it's time to stop and even say thank you to the Almighty for what I received, to say thank you for myself and to appreciate the incredible achievements of the spending plan. Maybe from the perspective of the Wall Street stock exchange, it doesn't count as a name on the Tezdach board because that's where they measure a stock portfolio. Why is it relevant? Your stock portfolio. The personality of who we are. This is the real story here. What for? And it's time to stop and say yes. To sign a chapter and say, "Wait a minute, what have I done in these years? Who have I influenced? What good things have I done? What will go with me forever and ever? Oh, we didn't come here. Oh, you know, we're at the station. And the same thing that people do to sum up a year in the month of Elul. It's a soul-searching. What is it called a soul-searching? Soul-searching? What was I doing wrong? No, it's not an account. If you have a bunch of accounts that only calculate your expenses, you fire them. Right? There are expenses. There are incomes. There's what I've progressed. There's what I've done. There's who I asked about. It's a soul-searching. Some one who confessed according to the alphabet. The good things we did. yes. And so many people come, they don't want to, they don't want to come to Elul, they don't want to come to Rosh Hashanah. why? Because for them, it's just about meeting the things that happened this year and are what they want to achieve now! Judgment Day, what will happen to me this year now? You know that all the amazing things you've had this year were determined on your last New Year's Eve. What a crazy opportunity it is to reach Rosh Hashanah and start a new year and how amazing it is to summarize the year that was with its problems with its obsessions with its challenges and with the developments you had this year who who who you have become what what how how how pass say no no no no I am still me I am at all in the year of the Lazi I don't know I don't want to year I am Lazi I am in finance closing in Lazi Why is it that I thought hours letter M I look what look the number 40 M looks the same in a big way replace the memes who think it is some kind of closure of the numbers and letters in a special Torah you are running away nicely go to some gematria now no I am doing some kind of closure I say okay we need to close the issue yes because from here we just need I need to think about it maybe maybe really a this chapter agree agree to experience a crisis by the way to say yes wait a second did you really make it to age 40 what I thought I was going to make it to age 40 and if I didn't then what does that say about me by age 40 I wanted to make it to be like this and so Dry and I didn't get there. You know the ones that say I do n't know. Everyone has their own stories. What they want? I recently found a vision board that I wrote. Some I wrote about eight years ago. Wow, it's exciting. Wow. You don't know how excited I am even now. I'm cold. Well, you got there. There are a lot of things I got there that I didn't remember at all. Wow. And there are things that are irrelevant. They are relevant. This is it. Suddenly I found some kind of a mess that I wrote. Wow. Amazing. So yes, you need to have a vision. Yes, you need to have dreams. But in the end, the real dream is who you are. Who have you become? How did you fix your soul, your mind, your personality? What good things have you done? And you tell me. And a vision for the next 40 years, not just for the next decade? Not far off. A vision for the age of 50. Okay, with this message, I'm taking your attention. Think about it. Thank you for agreeing to go through this process with me. You're a process in front of the camera. Not yet. Not yet. It's too late. Okay, so I'm glad you were partners with us in this process. And if you want to. Reply. Share. We're here. Send this to people who have a 40th birthday, who are more or less in this area, and we'll be happy. To hear what you think about it, you can listen to us on YouTube, Spotify, on Zing, on the Zilber website, on the Zilber website at 237616. You can comment on the website. There is a place to comment, or you can go to the website of the Ironical Feeling Association and leave me a message. You can also receive a notification for each episode that comes up, whether it's by phone, by email, or by WhatsApp. There are ways to subscribe. An update is issued for each episode that airs both in the control room and on the sea. excellent. And you can reach me by phone at 0526021630. Preach the chapter. It is only because of you that this chapter will be meaningful because we are doing it together with you. Thank you very much. ‏y