My Needs vs. My Child’s Needs | Know Your Children (11)

In parenting, we want to believe our love is perfect — automatic, limitless, and always putting our child first. But real life has a way of testing that fantasy. Rav Shlomo Katz and the women of Shirat David unpack a surprisingly relieving truth: a parent can genuinely love their child… and still have moments where their own needs collide with the child’s needs. Sometimes it’s obvious (work, exhaustion, basic functioning). Sometimes it’s subtler (wanting quiet when your child needs connection, wanting “my plan” when your child needs “me”). With honesty, humor, and a lot of compassion, we explore: -Why this tension is normal and why denying it makes us less self-aware -The difference between a true need vs. laziness/ta’avah -How “timing” and communication can become a real avodah -Why kids experience reality differently (and how that changes everything) This isn’t a guilt shiur. It’s a clarity shiur — the kind that helps you become more present, more balanced, and more loving in the moments that actually matter. --------- For more Shuirim and Music from Rav Shlomo Katz, visit: https://ravshlomokatz.com Join Rav Shlomo Katz's WhatsApp Community: https://chat.whatsapp.com/KHKOhhPaeHx5Kb74WL9L9a?mode=ems_copy_t Chapters 00:00 Opening and Introducing the Shiur Topic 01:05 Natural Parental Love at Birth 04:07 Striving for the Perfect Parent 13:26 Question of Absolute Unconditional Love 18:08 Recognizing Unconscious Preference 21:13 “My Need vs My Child’s Need” Examples 25:44 The “One Candy Left” Test 28:31 Alone Time, Date Night, and the Child’s Experience 33:16 Sleep Training as a Case Study 35:49 The Pillow at 2:00am: Need or Laziness? 37:54 A Parent Has Needs Too 40:12 Needs vs. Laziness/Ta’avah (The Real Birur) 42:52 The Oxygen Mask Analogy 44:40 Timing as a Tool for Discernment 46:25 Communication: Helping Kids Understand Reality 48:05 Love Isn’t Free of Personal Motives 50:58 Generational Shift in Mom Self-Care 52:15 Father’s Old-School Wisdom and Child Fear