Shlomo Carlebach - Miscarriage Story - First Time Praying - Lighting Shabbat Candles - Children

Reb Shlomo Carlebach Ztl - Shabbos Gives Life! We always tell stories of yesterday and the day before. Let me share with you a story of today. This is in honor of all the holy mothers and sisters… Baruch Hashem, I’ve had the privilege of seeing so many Yidden, and sometimes I wish I could take some of you home with me. Gevalt, are Yidden holy. Gevalt, are Yidden real. Gevalt, is the lowest Yiddele, gevalt, is the lowest, most estranged Yiddele- gevalt, gevalt, are they on fire, are they reaching Heaven. Okay, this is the story. I’m coming to a city, and I’m singing, and I watch the people a little bit. And in the first row I see a couple, a young man and a young woman, and mamash I can see that they are so special. The whole time they are sitting with closed eyes, and mamash they are singing with all their heart. After the concert, I had a little get- together, and I walked up to them and said, I’d love so much to know who you are. Maybe, drive me back to my hotel- okay, they are driving me back, we arrive at the hotel- I said again, what’s your story? I see both of you are so special. Tell me your story. So he says to her, you tell him the story. She says, you tell him. (He says,) you have to tell him, it’s your story. And I wish I could tell you the story, the way she told it to me. She says, I want you to know, I am coming from an assimilated family, and- not that we didn’t believe in G-d- we mamash believed that there is no G-d. You could have done aything in the world to me, I never would have prayed, because I just knew there is no G-d. Can you imagine, five generations have not set foot in a synagogue. Gevalt, for five generations they are holding out, they have nothing to do with G-d. She says, I want you to know, the same goes for my husband. He comes from an assimilated family- no G-d, no Yiddishkeit, they just know their nationality, they are Jewish. When I met my husband, it was just by accident that we both are Jewish. We got married, my husband was twenty and I was eighteen, we loved each other very much. And here you have to open your hearts, it’s a little bit sad. She says, I want you to know, gevalt, I had seven miscarriages. I was mamash at the end, I was so broken. Finally, Baruch Hashem, I got pregnant again, and the doctor really took care of me, I was lying in bed all the time, I was very careful. In the ninth month, about two weeks before, one morning I woke up, I just don’t feel too good, I decided to go for a checkup to the doctor. You know, friends, some doctors might be good doctors, but the way they treat people… The doctor says to me, I told you the whole time that you won’t make it. You didn’t listen to me. I told you, you just don’t have the make for children. The doctor says, you are losing the baby tomorrow. She says, one thing was clear to me, that I am committing suicide today, I just don’t have the strength anymore. The only thing I couldn’t decide, because next to the doctor was a bridge- should I jump off the bridge, or should I go home first and write a letter to my husband, and then turn on the gas. I decided, the least I can do is send a letter to my husband. You know, friends, anything which doesn’t interest you doesn’t impress you. She said, there was a synagogue next door, but I was so disinterested in it that I didn’t even notice it. Here I’m taking a cab and coming home, and it is clear to me that in a few minutes I’ll commit suicide, I’m looking at the street for the last time. I just can’t believe it- there is a synagogue next door. Suddenly I thought to myself- maybe there is One G-d? Maybe there is somebody, gevalt, maybe there is somebody… I walked into the synagogue, a great miracle, the synagogue was open… I walked straight up to the holy Ark. I opened the holy Ark. She says to me, you see, I have something which you will never have. I know what it means to talk to G-d for the first time. She said, I have a little bit of a feeling how our holy father Avraham, and Sarah felt, when they discovered G-d for the first time. She said, I want you to know, I opened the Aron Kodesh, the Holy Ark, and suddenly, gevalt… I’m standing before the One, before the Only One, before the One Who made the heaven and the earth. I was crying so much, I was saying, Ribono Shel Olam, Master of the World, I’m begging You, I’m crying of You, crying and begging with all my heart, please let me have this baby. Suddenly I got the urge, I wanted to do something for G-d also. But I didn’t know anything about Yiddishkeit. The only thing I knew, that Jewish women kindle lights Friday night. So I said, Ribono Shel Olam, Master of out of the synagogue, I was full of joy, with no question in my mind. I Good Shabbos, good Shabbos, good Shabbos. Told at a concert at the Beth Israel Shul in Boro Park, Nov. 20, 1988. #MiscarriageStory #ShlomoCarlebachStory #Praying #Shabbat #LightingShabbatCandles